To text or not to text...

   Well, that is not really the question. The real question is to cell or not to cell.

   We Americans seem to have a real love affair with the mobile world, especially cell phones. I know that this attachment to anything cellular is a global phenomenon. I have seen images from all around the world, in places both rich and poor, with people using their cell phones. But I write from a perspective rooted deep in the mid-west, close to major urban areas and lots of cell phone towers. There is plentiful cellular service, 3G service and even rumored 4G service, though I have only seen the 4G emblem light up on my phone a handful of times. Oddly enough, one of these times was at the playground, a place I am not likely to use the service.

   For many years, I resisted my entry into the complex world of cellular innovation. When I finally did succumb, it was with a very simple, affordable pay as you go phone. The phone worked well, the price was right and I could usually get pretty good service (except in my own home). These two

options were a big boon for me as I really did not want to spend more money and I pretty much had the connectivity I needed. I could even text, although at a much slower speed than most of my contemporaries. Overall, I was happy for a number of years. Happy that is, until I was given a hand me down Apple Ipod from my lovely niece. With this new toy I could check my email from the back yard, laundry room and anywhere else that had WiFi. I added a texting app that let me communicate much more easily (again as long as I had WiFi). And the biggest draw - the calendar! I maintained a calendar that spanned multiple households and multiple projects and deadlines. To be able to see at a glance what was going on, to add and later update when I had WiFi connection was more than I had previously dreamed of.

   But dreams grow as people do. And technology ages and becomes somewhat obsolete rather quickly. When my mom bought her first smart phone, I began to realize the potential of such a powerful tool. My husband already had a smart phone through work. And the ease of use was luring. I could forgo waiting till I had WiFi to access my email, update my calendar and text. And there was a world of apps that could help with everyday chores, like grocery shopping and spreadsheets.

   So for a Mother's Day present I accepted a smart phone. I opted for a Galaxy SII, with sleek features and a service with no contracts and reasonable pricing for my budget. It was not the latest in smart phone technology (as the kids in my religious education class were quick to point out), but had decent reviews.

I quickly discovered that I could update my calendar, check my email, do my grocery shopping, take and save pictures, navigate to a new destination without getting lost twice in the trip, handle spreadsheets for a lighting design from the catwalk above the stage, scan documents and send them to their destination, find dinner recipes on the run and pick up ingredients on the way home, renew my library books at the dentist and even write drafts for my blog. I soon updated to a beefy battery and had to replace my SD card that died. I even learned how to answer and make phone calls from the device.

   But what do I not do with the device? Text while driving. Look at pictures while in traffic. I am even reluctant to talk while driving, and then only using hands free options.  I was appalled to read an article about truck drivers texting while driving, resulting in accidents and fatalities. Seriously? These are professional drivers! Why not just get the latest Steven King book and prop it up on the steering wheel? (Okay, I have seen this done on the expressway back in the days when I used to commute.)

   Reality always hits home when experienced first hand. Unfortunately first hand for me is in hand for others. Everyday I am exposed to individuals who would rather be somewhere else than behind a steering wheel. Can't say that I blame them, but driving is a very real necessity for many. I sat for five minutes waiting for the guy in the truck next to me to finish texting or emailing or whatever he was doing so that I could turn right at the intersection of my street and a busy thoroughfare. He had a big SUV/Truck and had pulled too far forward in the left lane for me to see around his vehicle. I had a choice between turning blindly and possibly getting creamed or waiting until he was done with his phone. I waited. Later that same day, I watched a woman run a red light while looking at her phone. Fortunately the other drivers were quick with their reflexes. Both streets at the intersection were 40mph. She never looked up as she drove away.

   I wish I could say these were isolated events. But the kids coming home from school Monday were showing the driver pictures on their phone as she drove at about 45mph down our side street. Stop sign was optional. The truck driver I encountered coming home from church on Sunday sat through a green light until it turned red as he was too engrossed in his conversation to pay attention to traffic. I know, I had to go around him and barely made the light myself. As did the other five cars behind him. Their horns did not phase him.

   Have I been tempted? Sure. My phone buzzes with alerts and rings with calls and dings with notifications, begging me to check in and make sure I am not missing something "important". But I have developed a maturity behind my usage. I figure that if the Pope calls while I am driving, he will leave a message. My smart phone is equipped with the novel invention of voice mail. It has been around for a few years. My emails remain in place till I get to them, and if I am desperate, there is a feature to have my texts read to me as they come in. Heck, I can even talk and send them if I like. This can be more accurate than my text typing, let me tell you.

   If I really, really want to see what the text was, or take the call. I pull over. Usually into a parking lot, sometimes off to the side of a quiet street. I put the car in park. Then I pull my phone out and have a look-see. There are times when I am waiting for a response or dealing with a family emergency. I have no desire to create another emergency by being careless.  My attention is already being sapped by kids in the back seat, billboards and signs on the roadway and myriad of other distractions, including a rumbling stomach. No need to add to it.

   Perhaps other people have better multitasking abilities than I do. I highly doubt it based on the evidence I have seen in person, not to mention the news reports and articles I have read. I ask everyone to please consider the question that Shakespeare posed at an earlier point in time - "To be, or not to be." I have chose to be where I am when I am driving, which is behind the wheel. I ask that you please let me and my loved ones continue to be by choosing not to text when you are driving. Better yet, not to cell when you are driving. And if you must cell, use those cool hands free features that come with your spiffy new device. I am not impressed with your phone if I can see it. I am impressed more by what I cannot see. I will thank you all time and time again for keeping your hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. Ideally, if those are in place, part of your attention will be too.

   Hopefully next time I enter the time stream, I will see you on the road, and you will see me.

My favorite do it yourself project my brother did

     I love watching home design shows as well as remodel and home makeover shows. Why? Am I inspired by the programs to try something myself? Am I motivated to tackle new projects? Sometimes yes. But more than that I like to watch these shows because I like to see people create.  To come up with fresh new ideas,  revamp old ideas and try the extraordinary.

     And admittedly,  because I don't have to do the work or front the money.  It can be fun to watch others do projects and come up with solutions to lower costs.  I know it is not as fulfilling as seeing the end result of something you have done yourself,  nor do I use it to replace the actual doing or achieving, but rather as a form of recreation. And I like to laugh when I see unrealistically low budgets transform entire living spaces in the course of one weekend. Do producers really think that I believe that all the hand tooled cabinets were put in by two amateurs and one carpenter? Seriously, I could probably achieve some great results if major retailers offered me some of the discounts and freebies given to the shows I have watched.

     Getting past the fiction of reality shows, need and creativity can produce some fantastic results. One of those remarkable results resides in my kitchen. It was inspired by a kitchen make over program, Ikea and my need to store my spices in a semi organized manner with limited space options. And the fact that I was totally broke and had no budget. Did I mention I have little carpentry skills?

     What I did have was a narrow space between my refrigerator and the wall, leftover lumber bits hanging out in the garage, paint from some completed project and my brother. All the elements added up to nifty, thrifty and practical. 

     I had been toying with the idea of using the space for some time, but nothing pre-manufactured fit in the narrow confines, which was wide enough to comfortably house soup cans, but not much in the line of racks to put the cans on or hardware to make it work. Mom and I looked at stuff to mount to the walls, track systems and racks, but nothing was quite right. So my brother asked if he could take the project.  And a few days later he came up with a free standing system that would roll out as I needed it and roll back when not in use. We had the lumber and the tools, and he had the time and was pretty sure he could make it work.

     Okay, worse that could happen was we make long pieces of lumber into short pieces of lumber.  About two days later I bought a handle and some wheels and my brother mounted them to the new spice rack. With little tweaking, it was installed and has become one of my favorite fixtures in my kitchen!

      I do love my brother. 

I was gonna do that!

     If there is a phrase that drives me nuts, "I was gonna do that" is it! I have heard it countless times over the years, by a countless number of people. Heck, if I had a quarter every time someone uttered this phrase, I could put Bill Gates to shame. And always it is the same thing. I mention something that I did, and invariably someone responds with the comment that they were "Gonna do that." Laundry was left on the landing and not taken down to the laundry room, "Oh, I was gonna do that." Really? I cleaned out the shed. "I was gonna do that." Picked up your laundry off your bedroom floor. "I was gonna do that mom." Crate full of stuff by the back door to take out to the camper, "I was gonna do that." 

     

     NO you weren't! Still sitting there! I did not move it, so it remains unmoved. And will remain unmoved until I move it out to the camper and put it away. I know, it is very time consuming as the camper is sooo far away from the back door. You have to cross our whole back yard to get to it.

     If you were "gonna do it" please just skip the gonna part and just do it and save me the time and hassle. I have plenty to do all day long.  Like make butternut squash soup for dinner. 

     And for a week now, I have been "gonna" make butternut squash soup. Just seems that there is not enough time, or I don't think about it early enough in the day to get it going (it is a slow cooker recipe), or both my knives are in the dishwasher, or I absolutely HATE cutting up squash. Or there is a family emergency. Or my socks are itchy.  

     I get it. There are things all of us procrastinate about. For some it is putting together that power point presentation and for others it is tackling the catch all closet where good coats and scarves and extra school supplies go to die. It is the good intentions that we have that go to the wayside. Sometimes we dread the task and sometimes life just gets in the way. We live in a busy, over scheduled world where we have to make dates with our friends just to get together and catch up. But please, don't tell me you were "gonna do that." If you were, you would have done it. When you say "I was gonna do that" in response to my stating something I have done, what you are telling me that the task was not worth your time or effort and too far beneath you to do, so I, the good minion, got to do it. It is demeaning to see myself as a minion (even if I may be one) and it makes me angry to have my efforts brushed aside so lightly. Taking the laundry down the stairs may not sound like such a great task unless you are having a bad balance day and both feet are not working together to transport you about. Typing up a set of notes from the latest meeting is no great shakes if you don't already have a full workload for the day, go home to a kid with a mountain of homework and dishes piled in the sink and no clue what to make for dinner. Getting the car washed only takes five minutes, that is, after driving on a business trip for six hours in heavy traffic. 

     Lets all stop lying to ourselves and others and admit that we cannot do it all, and sometimes never even thought about doing what was mentioned. Instead of brushing off the task accomplished with "I was gonna do that," lets stop and say thank you. I am so glad you took the time to do that. I am sorry, I should have made time to take care of that. Suddenly the menial becomes more fulfilling. And the taskmasters feel uplifted. Just a simple rephrasing opens us up to gratitude and all of its wonderful benefits.  When we are grateful, we fell loved and taken care of. We feel inspired. There is no ill will in gratitude.

     So the next time a friend tells you about something he or she did, no matter how trivial, stop yourself from uttering the phrase "I was gonna do that" and compliment them instead. Thank them for their efforts. Apologize if it is something you should have taken care of and show them that you appreciate them. Mention that they have inspired you and you are going to try and make time to tackle that project in your own home.

     Then take the next step, plan on doing. Take action. Take control. Have you been meaning to get in touch with that friend? Email or text them two dates and times and ask which would work to get together. It is okay to put time limits on the dates. If they are your friend, they already know you are busy. Want to tackle that closet? Put it on the calendar. Like to finish those notes, ask someone to take the laundry downstairs and bring you a cup of tea and turn on the computer. Sure, sometimes life will still get in the way, but when you live with intention, somehow you manage to do the things that are important. Even the little things.

     Incidentally, my house smells of the wonderful aroma of butternut squash soup cooking. 

Decompression and Spring Break Adventures

   Our Spring Break was wonderful. After having taken more than a week to recoup from our trip, I can now write about it!

   It started out cold (here at home) as we began our journey south, pulling our camping trailer behind us. Please note, camping in my life includes no roughing it! I like to refer to my camper as the Holiday Inn on wheels! We were headed as far south as Evansville! Hey, the weather was supposed to be about 15 degrees warmer than here, so that meant heat wave in my mind! The route was an easy drive and we encountered no traffic. Practically no cars. I checked at lunch time to see if I was really awake. The further south we drove, the warmer the weather became. To my surprise, the drive only took what Google Maps predicted. Our campground was nice when we arrived and we were able to set up and have dinner with no issues at all. I was kinda surprised by the ease of the whole day. As an added bonus, it was much warmer than it had been at home. Of course, that would not have taken much. Anything above freezing was much warmer.

   The first day, being the coldest (relatively speaking) we headed off to the museum (Art, Science and History Museum). Mom and Dad were both surprised that we did not have to auction off the kid to get in. Added bonus - parking was free! There were not too many people, the museum was not too overwhelming and the displays were top notch. The art was FANTASTIC! Really liked their collection. By lunch time, we were looking for a cafeteria they did not have, but as we were just a two minute drive from a downtown that had on-street parking (also at no charge), this was no problem. Mom had to be fanned out of shock when the employees at the Subway were really good, even offering to go next door to get coffee cups because they had run out. She also noticed that everyone at the museum was terrific, laid back and very helpful. Even the other patrons. Throughout the day, she was careful to make sure that her purse was securely fastened and that her wallet was in place.

   The next day dawned bright, sunny and warm. Not to mention early. Dad has a knack at getting up before the birds to ensure that they wake up to have a good breakfast. He tries to be quiet and not disturb anyone, but in a camper, that is not a reality. Note to self - first big investment in our camper - super mega heavy duty stabilizers. House jacks maybe.

   The temperature now did it's magic and we did not even need jackets to roam the worlds most hilly zoo. Heck, we managed just fine in tank tops. Locals did take the precaution of wearing jackets with their flip flops and shorts. We fed the giraffes, which was really neat! Again we had to leave the facility to get lunch - all of their dining areas were closed, but again, this was a two minute drive where we once again had to revive my mom when the employees went out of their way for her. Sure we were eating fast food at Taco Bell? More wonder for mom during the day as people were polite, nobody pushed you out of the way to see animals on display, and folks actually apologized if they thought they walked into your picture taking. I reminded mom that we had left Chicago a few hundred miles away and that it was the "off season" for travel, even if we were practically wearing no clothes!

   After about three hundred hills and a wide assortment of animals, we made our way back to the camper, dinner and relaxing by the pond to watch the ducks. It was quiet, we were not worried about what to do the next day, and vacation finally started. I thought this was a record for reaching the relaxed state. We were finally achieving family decompression that I had written my daughter's teachers about in my complaint letter over homework levels (see my last post).  The rest of the week began to progress in a more relaxed manner. We reached our destinations when we arrived. We arrived at places more wonderful than we had planned. We met people who told us their stories about where they came from and who they were. We sometimes shared our stories with others. There was time to sit in a library and just read. Time to watch the ducks skim across the pond. And time to drive down the road and around the bend just to see what was there. We pushed ourselves to hike a little extra to see something special and were surprised along the way with the simple things that awaited us. We explored and learn new things about the world around us and there is no pressure.

   By Thursday, we had seen car shows, Native American historical mounds, state parks and nature centers. We had played at the park and taken a scenic drive along the Ohio River. We had eaten ice cream and had lots of good meals. We were relaxed. So the weather getting rainy and chilly seemed of no real concern. We could go visit the oldest public library in Indiana (and haunted to boot). Be mall rats. Do a lot of nothing. And we did. But as the day wore on, the weather predictions became more severe. And more severe. And violent severe. Not something you really want to encounter when living in a camper. Our campground was located in a hollow, not near a major river or lake, so our concern was tempered. By the time it was bed time, there were tornado sightings, flash flood warnings and sirens. But things would go from heavy rain, to calm, back to rain. I made sure the main building was open in case we needed to seek shelter. Ready shoes and blankets by the door, just in case.

   Mom and I decided to keep an eye on things. Not like we were sleeping much anyway. So we watched the weather reports on TV. Not very helpful as they named counties we never heard of, gave names of cities that could have been in Indiana or Illinois (actually, there were cities with the same names in BOTH Indiana and Illinois, which made it difficult to pinpoint which one the weatherman was talking about. I thought about calling the station and asking if they could at least identify which state the city in so I would know if the storm was 50 or 10 miles away, but I had pretty crappy cell signal in the campground).  Seeing as there was a pond and a creek, we watched for flash flooding. About every 5-10 minutes.
   
    My last check verified that there was still grass showing on the ground, I went to the camper bathroom, emerged and looked out the window. Then uttered a very low "Oh Crap." Okay, that is sorta what I said. I looked at my mom and said, "Time to evacuate, now." We were now located in the midst of a lake that was just below the step of

the camper. Hey, pool side camping was not advertised in the brochure. I woke my daughter, told my folks to get their meds and opened the camper door. My intention was to alert the campground manager to call for help and pull the truck to higher ground so it would not become immersed. By the time I had the camper door open, the fire department had arrived and the campground was filled with blue and red disco lights. So we took the bird, the kid, electronics and clean clothes and waded through knee deep water to the truck that I had pulled to higher ground. I assured the firemen and our campground manager that we were okay. We were going to spend the night somewhere else. One of the other campers managed to hitch their band new camper and pull it out of the deeps (they were further downhill than we were) so we had to wait before we could leave. Pulling our camper was not an option - I was not swimming under it to get the hitch. Yup, I had taken the hitch off the truck and put it under the camper - with the hitch lock on it. Habit. Whenever we stay anywhere more than two nights, we generally do this. Driving with a hitch can be hazardous. With a camper on the back, you are extra careful when backing up. But no camper and it is easy to forget the hitch is there..... Oh well. I was not up to heroics anyway. We watched the fire department pull out their raft and rescue one of the inhabitants, and after a waiting a short time, we drove through torrential rain to the Holiday Inn. I was not going to be much use to the fire department. Everyone else seemed to have their own plan.

 As I drove away, flashing lights lights in my rear view mirror, I said a small prayer that my camper would still be there in the morning. Water had risen to just below the bottom of the camper. Maybe investing a boat would have been a better idea? It was about 1 am and I was tired. So much for the relaxing, calming effects of vacation. So much for my theory of decompression. So much for searching for warm weather and adventure.

   Mentally I made note that the campground could now advertise Thursday night disco nights.

   The next morning came earlier than I would have liked. Noon would have been a good time to have morning. After eating (I never miss a meal!) dad and I drove down to the campground. And there was the camper, towel drying rack still standing in front of it, looking as nothing had happened. Campground manager was driving around cleaning up debris and cheerful. Apparently the water had gone down right after we left. I was cheerful again. We had weathered the storm. No one had been hurt. No water in the camper. Everything had not floated down stream. I was relieved! I said a quick thank you prayer, then decided that we would go home a day early. The weather reports were now calling for more rain, and I wasn't putting pontoons on the camper. We hitched up and headed out, collecting my daughter and my mom from the Holiday Inn along the way.

   As we drove in 30 mph buffeting winds (this is the drying cycle in my new camper cleaning regime) I found myself smiling. Traffic was fairly light. I was in good spirits and actually relaxed. I guess some of that decompression was still having it's effect. We had learned new things, visited new places and tested our endurance. I felt my daughter had learned some valuable life skills, not to be found in any homework packets or practice sheets.  This is what vacation was meant to do. Take us out of time so that we could slip back in, mentally prepared and ready for the next adventure.

Homework or Spring Break?

     I mentioned family decompression in a recent letter to my daughter’s teachers when I was asking for some homework help and relief. We had back to back three day weekends which we hoped to spend time together and work on some long term school projects, like the science fair project or the state projects.  The "Big Projects" as we term them in our household. We like to be ahead of when things are due, since it seems that “stuff” happens if we don’t. Crappy stuff that pushed the "Big Projects" to the last minute - the night before they are do-to be exact, and we are faced with mixed final results and lots of tension. So here we were trying to be the Good Homework Family, and get things done early, but I was beginning to feel a bit defeat when each weekend my daughter came home piled up with homework. Not just a little, either. I know, all of the teachers reading this are probably rolling their eyes just now, another whiny parent griping about homework.  I am, and I am not. Bear with me. The first weekend we did the homework which took up the time we had set aside to work on the "Big Projects." The rest of our time was spent at family functions and being with our family. We like our family. We like to spend time with family. Go figure. By second weekend she had four hours of homework to do (I know, I timed it).  As a result, we canceled our plans and spent half a day doing homework, trying to get it done at the beginning of the weekend.  It was depressing, and we sure did not feel like working on the "Big Projects" for the balance of the day. We did work on the "Big Projects" some the next two days, but our efforts were a bit deflated. It felt like we were doing school work. We just wanted to go "do" weekend stuff. I have to admit, I did not think we were very focused on our homework.

    So I wrote the teachers. Was all the homework truly homework, or was my daughter bringing home class work? (Hey, she is a kid, not a saint!) Was there some way that we could better maximize our time. It was hurting our family time to spend our weekends doing school work. I pointed out that I was very careful as a parent not to schedule doctor or dentist appointments during the school day so as not to disrupt their learning time. And the big question that weighed on my mind - Was there was going to be Spring Break homework? In my tiny, evil little mind, I dared them to assign homework.

     I received a variety of replies. One, my daughter was focusing on her school work when in school. A bit of a slow starter, but doing what she was supposed to be doing during the school day. Two, my daughter misunderstood that one of the packets sent home was optional and not required. (OK TEACHERS, I AM MORE SAVVY THAN THAT. AND I DO TALK TO OTHER PARENTS. ALL THE KIDS SEEM TO HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD THE OPTIONAL PART AS THEY ALL STRUGGLED TO MAKE SURE THEY GOT IT DONE!) Three, they like to keep kids working on activities that they cover in school to keep them engaged. And, sometimes, when they lose time during the school week, they sometimes have to send more work home.

     What? Could you run that by me again? Keep them focused on their time off? Studies have shown time and time again that individuals perform better when they take down time. Corporate America has tried to convince their employees to take their vacation days to keep them from burning out and to improve their productivity. (Granted, corporations want those employees to take their vacations when it is most convenient for the company.) Repeated studies have shown that human beings need time to relax. I call it decompression.

   And about that last part - when did the school lose time? We are making up four bad weather days this year and there are exactly the same amount of days in the school year as we started with. So what time are we making up? Was it a teacher sick day? Or is there some difficulty achieving our school goals because of the large number of early dismissal days (pushed by the teachers into the school contract), school improvement days (required by contract) and holidays? I am already irked that there is no time during the school day to teach cursive writing. Now you are telling math is a problem to teach during the day?

    No wonder I could not convince trainees to take a lunch break. It made it hard to hire the correct amount of employees if the company did not know how long it really took to do the job each day. Now I think I understand where some of their thinking came from. I have to ask teachers, do you really want to teach your students to work for free? Because if they learn that they should work through lunch and take work home so it all gets done, that is exactly what you have taught them. You have shown them that downtime is a waste of time in the eyes of productivity and obscure goals.

   Secretly I had been daring one of the teachers to tell me they were going to send homework home for Spring Break. But I was to be disappointed. I was informed that if they sent home a "supplemental" packet, it would be completely optional.

   I gave some thought of replying to the teachers in kind, but decided that I could potentially harm my daughter's relationships with her teachers, rather than do much good. Moreover, I do like her teachers. They are a caring bunch that seem to know their business. I  felt that replies would just make me defensive and cranky, not a good working partner with the school, which I am pretty sure is somewhere in my parental job description. So I contented myself with the answers (though I was rankled by two comments) and planned our our spring break trip.

   And it was wonderful and relaxing, despite the adventure at the end of our trip (you will have to read about that in my next blog). And we came back decompressed and ready to jump into our everyday lives with renewed vigor and spirit. My daughter did not forget everything she had been taught during the school year and even learned to manage her time better in school to work on small bits of her actual homework so that she would not need to bring it home in the evening.

   See, there can be time for non-productivity!