Distractions

  Last night I suddenly thought about a good friend who I have not seen in awhile. We had previously communicated about two weeks ago via a short text, but never got together to truly catch up. Our schedules are full and time is fleeting. After our communication, I spent the next three days telling myself that I needed to take a look at my calendar and come up with a date that might work for us meet up. By day four, I had totally forgotten about my resolve and did yard work. I remained blissfully forgetful until last night when I found myself suddenly thinking about my friend. I wanted to call her, right then, but it was on the late side and I know her day starts early, so I thought "I am going to write her a good, old fashioned letter."

Okay, I don't have fancy stationary.

   As I thought about writing her a letter, I envisioned her smiling face in my head. Not to worry, it wasn't like a disembodied head floating around - that would have been kinda creepy -her head was atop her body and everything, unlike the Mary statue on my front porch that met with an accident and has her head sitting next to her on the ground. In my vision, my friend was wearing an amazing dress that I have seen her in once before. She has great taste in clothes and dresses fabulously. Complete with this dress was a terrific pair of heels.

   I just love heels! I used to wear heels all the time, but alas, I cannot wear them anymore on account of a drop foot and collapsed arch. It is not a pretty sight when I try. The effect looks like a car pulling an over-sized trailer with flat tires on the entire right side. That doesn't stop me from longing for heels. I mean really, they go with just about everything from jeans and slacks to skirts and dresses. Have you ever opened a magazine and saw a model wearing a great dress and a pair of sneakers? Yeah, me neither, unless you count the ads for athletic shoes. And heels can be obtained for a great price. Stop at any thrift store and the shelves are lined with them, often brand new and shiny! I especially have a fondness for vintage looking

My favorite pair of heels!

heels - something about them is classy and polished, and when I wore them, I felt classy and polished. Not to mention taller. 

   When you are 5'3", you can use all the height you can get. Believe me, the extra two inches that I gained with my heels did a lot for my ego as well as my ability to reach items on taller shelves. You just can't get the same results from a pair of flats. Although I have to admit, you can get a lot of satisfaction from a pair of hiking shoes or boots. No, they don't pair well with a dress or skirt, but there is something freeing about wandering down a dirt trail and knowing that your shoes will provide the support and grip that you need to explore. 

My trusty hiking shoes

   Since I don't walk as well as I once did, I don't explore nearly as far in nature as I used to, but I still explore. My lesser range has not dampened my love for the outdoors and all thing natural. I love seeing a waterfall, climbing the cliffs for a better view and following a meandering creek. Having some mobility issues has made this a bit of a challenge at times. Folks don't understand that persons of limited abilities might still enjoy great outdoors and all the wonders of nature. And it seems beyond the comprehension of many individuals that you can still enjoy creation without hiking the twenty miles of rugged terrain up to the top of Mount What a View. 

   Take the ranger we encountered during our summer vacation this year. We were looking for some short hikes and places that we could visit to enjoy the wonders of the national forest in southern Illinois. After perusing the literature and scouring some guides available at the facility, we stopped to chat with the ranger who offered us assistance. When we asked what she recommended, she named off several great sights that were off the beaten path. Well off the beaten path. Way off our accessibility radar. When I nodded slowly she paused. I explained that while we were excited, these suggested hikes were beyond our present abilities and we were looking for something a little lower on the difficulty level.

   She looked at us like we had six heads. Apiece. 

   She was less helpful after this. Maybe she though we were just being lazy or were in a tremendous hurry. I was flattered that she viewed us a robust and hearty individuals, but was disappointed that her knowledge of activities was limited to backpacking and ten mile trails that went uphill, both ways. Perhaps she had not noticed that we were a group that consisted of a ten year old, a seventy-something year old woman, a man in his mid-forties and a woman about mid forties who came in walking with a gait that went "Hobbldy-hoy!" We left soon after. I assure you, we did find all kinds of stuff to do that did not require a ten mile hike to enjoy, much of which was not mentioned in the guides aside from a brief notation of location.  I am still thinking I need to write a book to rectify this oversight.

   So where was I? Hmm, can't really remember, but I do see that it looks like the grass needs cutting. Think I will dig out my hiking shoes and do some yard work today.  

Works like a champ these days.

   

Dollar Dates....

   Last weekend my husband and I enjoyed a wonderful anniversary weekend. We celebrated a whole bunch of years together. Pretty much just the two of us, no kid, no alarm clock, no chores to get done, no agenda.

   And no money.

   There is no shame in being poor, but sometimes it kinda sucks. Especially those times when you want to do something real romantic, like a weekend beach get-away, or a moonlit dinner cruise, or heck, maybe just dinner and a movie. All those options become a moot point when finances dictate some of the most humdrum aspects of your life. Like groceries and gasoline. My husband and I have our priorities in the right place and definitely value groceries that will provide us with dinner for the next two weeks over seeing the next super-hero movie or eating at the swank restaurant that has a dress code requirement. Besides, the car needs new tires next month.

   So what is a couple to do? I say do not despair! Even if you don't live near a lovely beach or near a scenic national park, there are creative solutions to this problem. I call them dollar dates! Most of them can be done with just a few gallons of gas and a few dollars in your pocket. They generally don't need much advance prep work and can even be done with kids in tow. But a word warning, these dates require a little bit of creativity, a good sense of humor and a willingness to break away from the stereo types of dates. If you are ready to get creative - read on!

• Picnic at the park. Requirements - decent weather. Bag to put food stuff in. Maybe a blanket. Even if the kids are just having a few hours with grandparents, you can slip away, sit down and relax. Want to make it even more exciting, pick a park that you have never visited or that has a view. Pack food that you would not pack if your kids were going, like fancy cheese. Or in our case, flaming hot potato chips.
• Mall coffee! Sounds weird, but can be a whole lot of fun. Don't even need good weather if you go to an indoor mall. You will need a few dollars for a cup of coffee and a bench or table to sit an talk and people watch.  My husband and I once spent part of an afternoon talking and laughing over people's choice in footwear. 
• Free concerts in the park. Nothing says romantic like a free concert in the park. You can just sit and listen and be together. Oaklee's Family Guide can be a great resource to find these hidden free gems (you don't have to have kids in tow to enjoy), but just about any internet surf can help you uncover free concerts. Too cold for the park - look to local park districts - they often have free concert events.
• Take a tour! Often an internet search will yield a free tour going on in your area. It may be a garden walk, a theater tour or a winery. Not seeing any of these, create your own. There are historic districts to walk through, scenic river byways and even churches that are open to courteous visitors. Tours can be taken on foot, on bike or even from the comfort of your car (well not church tours, they frown on bikes or cars in their facilities). 
• Check out the community calendar! Events often abound just a short distance away. Is there a fall festival in town? How about a historic rendezvous at the forest preserve. Without the kids, you might get a chance to watch a demonstration of basket weaving or ask questions about raising goats! Imagine, just you and your spouse enjoying the art fair and no one gets bored. Or perhaps checking out a car show without having to worry that someone will touch all the cars!
• Like to treasure hunt? How about Geocaching? Our forest preserve district offers a Geocaching Passport to collect stickers and a Trackable Geocoin. There are also apps are available for smart phones as well as websites with directions if this catches your fancy. You may need to fuel your vehicle for the excursion, but pack snacks and drinks and you could be off to explore the world. 
• Seek and find that elusive restaurant you have a gift card for. Too expensive for dinner even with a gift card? Just stop for dessert and coffee. Mid afternoons are great times to do this. Restaurants tend to be less busy and servers more relaxed.
• What's going on at the library? Libraries often have programs free of charge. Sometimes they are free movies. Sometimes live performances or musical concerts. 

   Hopefully now your imagination is fired up. Just think about what you as a couple like to do. Not sure what that is anymore, try experimenting, maybe you will find a new interest together.

   What did we do with our romantic weekend? We toured the local historic movie theater. Really neat to see the backstage and learn a little history. Tour included the theater facility as well as a behind the scenes peep at the bowling alley located in the same building. Later that afternoon we went and saw a band concert in a cool forest preserve that we had never visited before. If we had wanted to spend a few bucks, they sold wine and food too! Concert was great. Location was pretty. We were relaxed.

Then we stayed in an area hotel - for free! Last Christmas at the office holiday party we had won two bottles of South African wine. Not being wine drinkers, we swapped with friends who won a free night at the Holiday Inn...down the block from their house! Everyone was happy. After sleeping in and eating the free hotel breakfast, we wandered over to the local Ikea, trying out all the couches, and opening all the drawers before we sat down and had a free cup of coffee in their cafe. (You can get one too - just stop at the Kiosk in the lobby and sign up for a free Ikea card!). Later we went exploring (kinda like Geocaching) to find a restaurant. We had a gift card begging to be used and the restaurant was not exactly close to home. Half the adventure was trying to find the place. Especially when we took a wrong turn into a neighborhood and our GPS keep telling us to make a u-turn. Despite the recalculating and u-turns, we only used about a quarter tank of gas all weekend. It may not have been margaritas on a beach, but it was fun, relaxing and an affordable way to spend time together.

   And where was our darling daughter? Can you say sleep-over? On Friday night she attended a birthday party sleep-over. When one of my best friends heard that we were trying to plan an overnight for Saturday, she jumped in and offered to pick up our daughter from the sleepover and keep her until Sunday afternoon.  It just happens that her daughter and my daughter are best buddies. All around happiness. I am more than happy to return the favor in the future and take her kids so they can also enjoy some well deserved couple time.

   I highly recommend dollar dates. Sometimes the less spent, the more fun!

Flat Lander Beware!

   This past Labor Day, we celebrated the holiday with our relatives at a family barbecue. We enjoyed both good food and good company and spent our time catching up with events in our lives, looking at vacation photos and swapping stories about our summer vacations. Our hosts, had pictures and stories of their vacation in the Smoky Mountains. A number of years back we had taken the same trip with our then infant daughter. When comparing stories of the two trips, there were a lot of differences.

• They enjoyed scenic vistas along the Blue Ridge Parkway. I still refer to this stretch of road as the White Knuckle Parkway. Apparently this road is more enjoyable when there are no hurricane force winds and driving rain. Who knew?

• They loved touring the house and grounds of the Biltmore Estate, but unlike us, they did not get a 50% off discount on ticket prices due to the wine cellars and half of the estate property being underwater. They also visited Asheville, NC, which we did not on account of the road being closed and the river running through the middle of town.

• They went horseback riding. We had an infant. No way!

    There was however, one experience that resonated with both families - the hiking trip! Their talk about their trail experience sounded somewhat similar to ours and brought back a flood of memories.  I remember when my husband and I were preparing for our trip, booking campgrounds, packing food and planning excursions. Anticipating that we would want to get in touch with nature, we purchased a book to help us pick the right hikes to take, ones that would not be overcrowded and yet not too difficult for us. We readily recognize that we are "Flatlanders" and that any elevation over 100 ft can be considered a mountain in our estimation, so we wanted to plan accordingly. Having been in the Rocky Mountains on previous trips, we understood that elevation, distance and physical capabilities had to be taken into account. With this in mind, we purchased Day and Overnight Hikes in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park (second edition).

   The book had a great introduction. It noted that the best way to "break into" the Smokie's back country was to take day hikes. The book was well laid out. Directions to trail heads were clear. Hikes were divided into day hikes and overnight trips. There were trail descriptions of what you could expect to see, simple maps showing the hiking trail, and best of all, each hike had a rating level that included Scenery, Difficulty, Trail Conditions, Solitude, suitability for Children, Distance and approximate time it would take to Hike. Exactly what we needed to plan a hike or two that we could enjoy.

   First, we tossed out any idea of an overnight hike. I liked to camp, but only if it involved a camper with heating, air conditioning and a potty. Sorry, just not a roughing it type of gal. Besides, who would carry all my gear? Remember we had an infant, so we were already carrying her in one of those great baby backpacks. Thankfully she was breast fed, so there were not bottles or formula to haul along with her. Having decided that Day Hikes were the way to go, we picked out a few with low difficulty ratings and relatively short distances. We knew that a short distance in our native flat lands and a short distance in the mountains were two totally different experiences, even for those in great physical condition.

    Feeling confident that we had done our homework thoroughly we embarked on our vacation and looked forward to hiking during our trip. For our first hike (if memory serves me right), we picked the hike which had a low difficulty rating (two star), a short distance (3 miles) and was rated for children (four stars!) - Sutton Ridge Overlook. Scenery was highly rated, and it was noted as a moderate hike to a great view, with a hiking time of only 1 hour 45 minutes round trip. Both us being in good shape and having done flat distances of triple this mileage, we estimated that would should be able to hike in about a five hour window, including a picnic. We took plenty of food, water and diapers, as well as sunscreen, hats, insect repellent, lightweight rain gear and a small first aid kit. We just weren't taking any chances, and we hadn't even gotten to the part of the trip that included hurricane winds and flooding!

  We started out merrily enough. The weather was mild, the sun was shining and the trail was well shaded. The solitude rating was accurate, definitely quiet, we were only passed by one or two other hikers who gave cheery encouragement, telling us how great the vistas were ahead. The trail had begun to climb, but was not too steep or difficult. Our baby was happy. Well of course she was happy. She was used to being toted around in a backpack and spending close time with her parents. And she didn't walk yet.

   In retrospect, I often wondered if guide book writer had kids. He noted that trail as ideal for families or anyone who wanted to get a rewarding leg stretcher. I can't imagine taking this hike today with kids who drink all their water in the first twenty minutes then have to pee (but don't want to do it in the woods) and discover that they are starving since they haven't eaten in weeks. I have often wondered how parents who have read this book cope with the serious stress of youthful legs that can't take another step after walking for about an hour and insist that they just want to lay down and die or be carried. Perhaps if my daughter had been older, I would have been more wise to the descriptions touted in this book.

   After about two hours of hiking (stopping only to feed baby, change a diaper and take a pee in the woods), we still had not achieved any vistas. I wanted to eat, lie down or be carried. I was pretty sure my last meal had been several days earlier. We were munching on snacks and looking over a trail map to see if maybe we had gotten lost on our uphill ascent and perhaps mistakenly taken another trail when one of the hikers that had passed us earlier stopped to chat. He was on his return trip to the parking lot. He assured us that we were on the right trail, but still had a little ways to go yet, we were about half way... SERIOUSLY? As the gentleman waved good bye, we looked at one another. Were we that out of shape? My husband estimated that our fellow hiker was about thousand years old, but perhaps he had gotten his stamina from crossing the country with the first settlers. We forged ahead on a trail that was steadily getting steeper. I was questioning the moderate description of this hike. Our baby, fed and content, fell asleep. If only I could do the same.

   Forty five minutes later, we came across a vista. Which was a good thing, since hiking uphill was not going to be an option much longer. It was not "THE" vista we had been aiming for, but there was a place to sit down and eat lunch and enjoy a view. Our daughter woke up, shared our lunch and played with us. We relaxed.

   After regaining enough strength to stand again, I searched around in vain for an elevator. I also wished that there was at least a port-a-potty as I was starting to think that I had peed in poison ivy earlier. (It turned out to be just unfortunate mosquito bites.) We both agreed that we were ready to return to the truck, this vista was good enough for us.

   So we stowed our trash in our backpack, hoisted the baby up and began our downhill decent. After I skidded down a particularly slippery part of the path and twisted my ankle, we decided that it would be best if my husband carried our daughter.
   I broke out a wrap from the first aid pack, tightened the laces on my faithful hiking shoes that thankfully gave me good ankle support and stoically hobbled along. As the day advanced, I now began to question whether taking a trail known for its solitude was really such a good idea. If the crowds we encountered were any indication of how often the trail was traversed, who knew how long it would be before someone found our wasted bodies lying in the middle of the trail. My daughter, unaware of my morose mood, happily babbled from her perch on daddy's chest.

   When we finally made it back to our truck (our total hike time was about 5 1/2 hours, not far from our estimated hiking time), we tossed the guide book, went to dinner and decided to stick to the nature trails and overlooks accessible via a short walk from the parking lot. Despite having done a lot of walking prior to our trip to work up to hiking in the mountains, we just weren't ready for yet another excursion.

   Listening to my relatives, it sounded like they too had discovered that the Smoky Mountains are much steeper than they appear. I believe their excellent physical condition (and possibly the fact that they were not hauling around a five month old baby) saved them from becoming another set of bones found along the trail as warning to unwary tourists.

   I have decided that I might write a book to help families like mine discover the outdoors. It will include all the best trails that can be hiked in thirty minutes or less and have complete descriptions of port-a-potty conditions and distance of these facilities from the trail. I will include maps to local area restaurants, scenic overlooks that can be accessed by car as well as estimated time it takes for toddlers an young children to become bored and have a meltdown. I will only include well traveled paths where they will encounter countless other individuals who might be able to get assistance when they are about to expire along the way. I think I will title the book Nature Trails.