Growing up is hard

   Growing up. How do our kids do it?

   It consists of a lot of moments. Moments when parents have to stay focused so that they don't miss them. Which is easy to do when you are running low on coffee. But moments never, ever, come back. Like the moment when your baby gives you that first toothless grin. It melts your heart and you want to take a picture so that you can remember it forever, except you can't, because you can't go looking for your phone at a time like this. Aside from the night light in your baby's room, it is dark in the house and everyone is sleeping. Moreover, if you leave the room, that precious grin will disappear and be replaced by loud angry wails that will wake the entire neighborhood. At three thirty in the morning, that would make you very unpopular.

   By six o'clock the moment has slipped away and you are just an overtired and cranky parent that has to be functional for the rest of the day. Toothless wonder, however, is ready for breakfast and babbling away.

    Toddler years with all the magical milestones (and not so magical ones) pass with a flash.

 

A parent does their best to get pictures of some of the magical ones.

And sometimes some of the not so magical ones. Because quite frankly , they are really funny later. And that helps the not so magical moments become more bearable at the moment they are happening.






   Before you know it, you find yourself releasing your precious little one into the hands of insane strangers. They have to be insane. Who in their right mind would willingly spend all day, every day with four to six year olds? Or eight year olds. Or, gulp, Jr. high students? They must be positively certifiable.

   Even if you really, really, really love the little darlings, remember, these are the same kids that put their dirty clothes on the floor...right next to the hamper. The same individuals who don't think showers are necessary every week (let alone daily). The same persons who are too tired to push a vacuum across the floor of their room (providing they can find that floor) but insist they they can stay awake well past your own bedtime. The same kids that have grown from cute toddlers to young men and women who have perfected the eye-roll.

   Sometimes you just want to strangle them. Which goes against your overall goal of keeping them safe and alive and mostly in tact. Not to mention that this might involve jail time.

   As if all of this parenting isn't hard enough, they become teenagers. You begin to cherish every moment you can get with them as you recognize your time together is growing short. Perhaps you send them off on a trip, with a tug in your heart that you are letting go of your baby while at the same time praying that the adults who will watch over them will be able to practice your incredible self-restraint that keeps you from strangling them on a daily basis.

   As a parent, you recognize the signs that your child is growing up. The evidence is there, they no longer fit in Santa's lap. Even though they might try. When did that happen? Your'e not sure, but it does make a magical moment.

   Parents have to face the moment when their children ask for the keys to the car. That expensive vehicle sitting in the driveway. The one you are still making payments on. As a parent, you are supposed to recognize their need for independence and give them the keys. So that they can get mad at you when they get a ticket for speeding. Or have an accident leaving it full of dents.

   You may want to take a picture of this moment. So you can laugh later. 

   Remember, these pictures help with the not so magical moments. Keep your hands busy so that you can fend off the urge to strangle you precious children. Because growing up is hard enough without jail time.

   Growing up. I guess the real question is how do we parents do it?

    

Observations at the Arboretum

Welcome to the Arboretum where they have trees...sorta

What gives?

   Ahhh, after a look around the grounds, we find where they grow those kinda trees.

They also have a few other variety of trees....

Light trees...........              And Dark Trees.

Then there are the baby trees that they keep in tree play-pens.

   Some trees evidently stay toddlers longer than others....

But it does look as if the arboretum has a few problems with groundhogs.

 Really big groundhogs.

   

Perhaps if marketing offered hot dogs and marshmallows for sale...

   

They could raise money for the trees in need of band-aids.

We sure learned lots and as always, we had a great visit.

Okay, everyone who wants to go vacuum shopping, raise your hand!

   I was happily vacuuming the house the other day, when I noticed a faint rubber smell. As I proceeded to push the machine back and forth, the aroma increased. By the time I finished my chore, the house smelled like a tire factory. Grumbling I put the vacuum cleaner in the utility closet. As I climbed the stairs back to the main level of our house, I noticed that some areas of the carpet didn't look like I had vacuumed, but rather taken bits of dust and debris and moved them to other parts of the room. The writing was on the wall, or rather on the carpet. I needed a new vacuum.

   I know what you are thinking right now. All that machine needs is a change of the bag and a new belt. Except there is more to it than that.

I hate the vacuum.

I would rather replace the vacuum.

With a new lawn mower. 

   Preferably a riding lawn mower, with a cup holder and a super fine mulching blade. Hey, with one of those, I could vacuum alllll day! Heck, I would vacuum twice a day. Who could blame me? I mean really, take a

look at this vacuum. Who could love a vacuum like this? Well, if you can, it's all yours. Just come and get it. I will even throw in the extra bags. I have decided that I am done with it. But what to replace it with? It looked as if I were going to have to do a little research on what I needed/wanted from a vacuum cleaner.
 

I began by looking at the features on my current vacuum cleaner: 

• My current vacuum has a back-saving handle grip. I think that is the curve you see. Not sure who's back it is supposed to save. That sucker is heavy and I have three sets of stairs to lug it up and down. Pushing it back and forth can be a chore. The helpful little carry handle in the back is placed way too low to actually carry it. That is, if it were not too heavy to carry. Worse yet, there is no cup holder located anywhere on the machine.

• The vacuum has a hose that pulls out of the base and can be fitted with accessories (handily stored on the back) to do quick cleaning of blinds, corners and other stuff. Unfortunately, I lost most of the accessories (or never had them in the first place - this is a hand-me-down vacuum). Not that I would actually use those accessories. Moreover, the "handy" hose has developed a habit of popping out at random times and I spend more time putting it back in the base than cleaning those hard to reach spots. About the only time I use the hose is around the baseboard by the bird cage. I would rather the vacuum had super sucking power to avoid having to use this feature at all.

• The vacuum cleaner also has (or rather had) a filter. Awhile back, the filter fell off. Looking to replace it, I searched stores and scoured the internet. I did manage to find a replacement filter online, but thankfully it was out of stock. My vacuum did not come with a defibrillator. To be honest, I have not noticed any difference with it missing.

• The vacuum model I have been using also has a carpet level knob that lets a person adjust the height of the cleaning head. This is pretty useless as it doesn't actually pick up dirt at any setting other than low.

• My current vacuum takes bags. Which is a HUGE plus. The bags are pretty standard size and fairly easy to find in stores. It is not particularly easy to change the bags, but way better than the canister vacuum that I had before. With the canister vacuum I had the added chore of washing out the canister. EVERY TIME I VACUUMED. If I did not, I was simply redistributing dirt around the carpets in my house. Heaven forbid I wanted someone else in the family to vacuum, like one of the kids, because they sure weren't going to wash out the canister before or after vacuuming. Bags require none of this work. 

   With these likes and dislikes in mind, I began my search on the internet to try and get a feel for what was available in today's vacuum market. I noticed a few things immediately.

1. None of the vacuums had cup holders. Obviously manufacturers have overlooked this as a selling point.
2. None of the vacuums were self propelled. Lawnmowers in the same price range were self propelled. Heck, I could get a riding lawnmower for the cost of some of the vacuum models I was seeing. With a cup holder.
3. Canister vacuums tend to be a bit cheaper. I figure that is the only way they can con the unwary into buying one, as no one in their right mind adds extra work to their day. 
4. I could not find a vacuum that had a major crap setting for picking up things like kids shoes, stray barbie dolls, socks and mail left on the stairs. 

   After a while, I starting getting internet dizzy. I was looking at robotic vacuums which were pricey and still required you to have a "regular" vacuum for deep (real) cleaning. There were backpack vacuums, just in case you were going to hike the Appalachians and felt the urge to clean as you go along. Vacuums with rechargeable batteries that resembled weed whackers. Miniature vacuums to plug into your computer and vacuum your keyboard (hey, the bird might like one of these!), vacuums shaped like animals, vacuums for cleaning your dog and for cutting your hair. Would you believe there are even vacuum shoes? And why are all the pictures of vacuums on smooth and shiny floors instead of carpet?

 I broke away before I started viewing cute puppy videos.

   It looks as if I am either going to have to go vacuum shopping (in an actual store) or pull up carpet through the entire house and refinish the hardwood floors.

   Guess I had better start designing a cup holder to attach to the new machine.

I am trying not to get arrested, but it is really hard...

   Everyone gets discouraged. I get that. I really do. But sometimes you go through periods that are more discouraging than others. When everything seems to be a battle you are poorly equipped to fight. You find yourself fighting one battle, only to have a second front open up unexpectedly. And then a third. And maybe a fourth for good measure. Pretty soon not only are your troops spread thin, but your supply lines are stretched and your ability to communicate dwindles. Even if you achieve victory on one front, you feel worn down, unable to put up much of a fight on another. You begin to question if it is worth sending out the troops at all.

Even good soldiers have bad days.

Have you noticed that I am talking about myself in third person?

You might say the last few weeks have been a little stressful.

I hurt my knee. In my sleep.

   The knee that is on the same leg that gives me trouble with drop foot. The leg that I wear a muscle stimulator on so that my foot will lift when I walk, protecting me from close encounters with the ground that often result in bruised body parts. The leg that has the ankle I have sprained more times than I can number. The leg with foot that has a collapsed arch that causes said foot to roll in when I walk. The leg that bears a scar from a biking accident involving a screen door.

Yes, I had a biking accident involving a screen door.

Look, just read, don't judge. These things happen. Especially to me.

   How, you might ask, could I hurt my knee in my sleep? I don't know, I was asleep, wasn't I? All I know is I woke up and it was kinda bent all backwards and hurt like the devil! I managed to get it to bend back the way it's supposed to be, but that hurt like the devil too! I rubbed it a bit and tried to go back to sleep, but as I was drifting off I made a huge error.... I rolled over and it went backward again. Kinda like it was over-extended, but stuck. The next day it seemed fine and didn't really bother me at all. So I decided to wait and see if it got better on its own. Wouldn't you?

   No such luck the next night. Or the next. Or even the next. There was not enough coffee to make up for the lack of sleep. So after about a week and a half of hoping it would get better, I contacted the doctor's office and made an appointment.

The soonest I could get an appointment was in two weeks.

   In the meantime, I stopped wearing my walking aid, as I was worried that electrical stimulation might aggravate my knee and stress it further. Now that the Christmas stuff was put away, I reasoned that I should have less stress.

The bank emailed me that my credit card was over due.

Nope, I checked, I paid the bill.

The bank had applied my payment to the wrong credit card.

They applied my payment to the card with a zero balance due.

Somewhere this probably makes sense.

   Oh I was chipper and called them asking if I had somehow made a mistake. I was reassured that it was an error on the bank end, I had even selected the correct account number to be paid. They were quick to fix (I could see the fix like magic when I refreshed my computer screen) and all was well. They even sent me apology notices and contacted the credit agencies to let them know it was not my error so this would not affect my credit. 

Then I discovered a box on the front porch.

The clinic that handles my walking aid had sent me supplies.

Without asking me first.

Or notifying me that they were sending me a package.

Or checking with my insurance.

   I had called and left the clinic a message mere days before my knee decided to do its Ostrich Act. But, since they had not returned my call, I had thought to resume my inquiry after I figured out what was wrong with my knee. Just in case it needed to be amputated or something, which would make getting supplies for the walking aid pretty silly.

   I had been pretty clear that I wanted to know ahead of time what billing instructions they had received from the insurance so that I might follow up on my end before making the appointment. Since there were billing issues in the past I wanted to be fully prepared before committing to a year's worth of electrodes. I also needed to obtain a referral.

You might say I was a little surprised.

You might say I was a lot perturbed.

  Still needing answers to all my earlier questions (the box only contained electrodes and a permission request to bill my insurance), I sent them an email so that we might both have everything in writing.

   Putting aside the box and all the issues it contained, I now went about the business of destroying the car by running over the snow embankment at the end of driveway. Okay, so I didn't destroy the car, I only pulled off a stupid plastic part. My brother helped me get clips and put it back on. He said it might hold temporarily. And he helped me look up a replacement part. I am hoping it holds more than temporarily. 

Needing to relax, I thought I could unwind by watching our new smart tv.

Nope. Not happening. 

The remote stopped working. Replacement for smart tv remotes start at seventy dollars.

While trying to contact the tv manufacturer, the phone company calls.

Threatening to turn off my service.

I had paid the bill.

    After a little account research, I discovered that they too had applied my payment to an account with a zero balance. An account that had been canceled when I had upgraded my service a few short weeks before.

What genius applies money to a canceled account?

The customer service representative said she could help me with that.

    I was informed that in the future to reference my new account number. Hey, my payment did reference my phone number, which didn't change. Didn't that ring any bells?

   Did I mention that I still have more RE students than desks?

The director is working on that.

    I was basking in my phone victory, when a bill came in the mail for the electrodes to my walking aid. According to the letter, the insurance company will not cover my electrodes.

The insurance company doesn't know what they are talking about.

I am running low on coffee.

I have a tick in my eye and look Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

   With a thank you I have returned the electrodes to the clinic so that I will have the proper time to obtain both a referral and a definitive billing plan from my insurance. 

After I go to the doctor next week. 

I think I should hear back from the tv company about the remote by then.

Did I mention that their chat room is not in operation at this time and I didn't have another thirty minutes to spend on hold, so I sent them an email?

   Meantime, I have resumed wearing my walk aid. My last trip to grocery store resulted in an ungraceful entrance and a bruise to my ego and my elbow. I don't want the doctor to have more to examine than my knee. 

No way, that can't be another Christmas decoration....

Settling back into routine...

    I decided to take a break over the Christmas holiday from my blog and focus on family and friends. There were tons of activities to do, loads of prep work to accomplish and Christmas cards to write. I would be crazy busy. Whatever down time I encountered I was going to spend lavishly doing very little. I was pretty sure that I would not be able to write good content. I was right on that count. What little writing I did accomplish over the holiday break could be summed up in one word - cringeworthy.

   The holiday break from our normal routine proved to be delightful,  despite having to keep an eye out for the mischievous elf-on-a-shelf we don't have. We celebrated birthdays, enjoyed Christmas activities sponsored by our park district, attended church services, reveled in family gatherings and did last minute Christmas shopping. Our 6'5" Santa informed the college students who took a turn to sit on his lap Christmas Eve that "Cs get degrees" but noted that "As and Bs keep scholarships". There were sleep-overs for my daughter, sleep-ins by the whole family (2 weeks of NOT having to get up at 6 or 6:30am was a treat), and relaxing evenings where we hopped in our pajamas early and ate popcorn for dinner. We ate out more than usual and visited the museum to check out the Christmas Trees Around the World display (part of our gift to our daughter this year). Heck, we even saw the new Star Wars movie in 3D! New Years eve we celebrated with food and friends, had a terrific time playing games and hanging out. The kids put on a circus, played and got to stay up late. The next day my husband and I started off the new year by changing into clean pajamas and spending the day being couch potatoes and watching a record amount of movies and tv.

   But as break came to an end, it was time to return to our everyday routine. Everything that could be done, had been done during the holiday break.

 Well, almost everything. Seems those Christmas cards did not quite get out this year.

   It was time to put away all those Christmas decorations and free up the space in our living room. Time to take a look at the bills and monthly finances and make sure we were up to date. Time to do wash so we could wear more than just our pajamas. Time to go back to school, music lessons and religious ed classes. Time to get back to serious writing. Or at least writing things that were not quite so cringeworthy.

   I devoted the Monday to writing. And a little wash. But mostly writing. What a great way to start off the new year! Except for that expensive plastic part I pulled off the car when I misjudged a snow embankment at the end of our drive when I took a break from writing and laundry to run errands. That really wasn't great. Nor was the fact that around me loomed a disorganized house of Christmas clutter and seasonal remains from our two weeks of celebrating. Something had to be done.

   I decided that first order of business was to get the Christmas stuff packed away and free up the spaces of our house from clutter. So Tuesday, between additional loads of laundry (how much laundry can a pajama wearing family produce?) and fixing the part on the car with my brother (temporary fix), I boxed and sorted all the Christmas stuff from around the house and that evening we put it all away.

   Oops, looks like we missed this little guy. Well, that is just one santa. No biggie. This time I did a really, really, really good job of rounding up all that Christmas stuff.  I even had time left over to put together my lesson plans for my next two RE class sessions!

   Feeling accomplished, I felt that a change a plans for Wednesday would be no big deal and drove out to help my friend work on a light design for a children's show. We had a great time working together and having a salad lunch up in the light booth. But on the way home, my day got a little busier....my windshield met a rock.

   Add calling the insurance to my growing list of things to do this week. Having survived the heart attack brought on by this harrowing experience (I actually saw the rock bounce up from the expressway and come right at me - as if in slow motion - I could'a died ya know), I returned home in time to gather up my RE bag and my daughter and headed off to teach class. Only to learn once I arrived that I had a new student. To my already large and boisterous class. Which was way cool, but created one problem. I now had more students than desks in my classroom. To rectify this problem, I placed one of my students at the teachers desk. Then half way through class I took away the bell at the desk. The RE director has promised to add more desks or at least additional chairs. I had better remind him to add more than one. I had a few absent students that day.

   Too tired to go grocery shopping or to the PTO meeting that evening, I drove home with my daughter to make dinner, only to remember once we arrived that I couldn't use the oven. The oven had burnt holiday food drippings on the racks and covering the bottom. It desperately needed cleaning. We already had one episode of Smoke out the House and Trigger the Alarm that left the home smelling like burnt toxic waste for days (it is a little to chilly to open the windows and air out the house). I wanted to avoid a sequel. Making due with an odd assortment of leftovers, we ate a quiet dinner and then I got busy cleaning the oven. Isn't that what every exhausted woman does at the end of the day?

   Thursday I managed to get my butt out the door and to the grocery store bright and early. It was imperative as I had promised to bring snacks for the women's bible study that morning, and you do not make promises to bring women food and fail to provide! After a really great bible study, I returned to the grocery store to obtain household food and supplies so that we might continue to survive. Holiday leftovers had run out and I had severely depleted our kleenex supplies with my struggle against the bubonic plague a mild head cold. Returning triumphant to our domicile, I put food away, threw together a quick lunch and headed up to the study. I was going to pay the bills and maybe get in a bit of writing.

Oh, I guess I missed another Christmas decoration. But it is probably the last one.

   Not to be deterred by a errant holiday decoration, I got right to work paying bills  updating our monthly spreadsheet of income and expenditures. I printed out receipts for our taxes and contacted the insurance to see about getting my windshield repaired. I even started putting together the file folders for our 2016 household file drawer when my smarter than me phone reminded me that Kate had an appointment to meet with the recital accompanist that evening and I needed money to pay for the lesson. Crap, why couldn't I have remembered that when I was out earlier this week wrecking our car running errands. After a quick glance at the clock, I determined I had just enough time to pick up the cash and get back before my daughter arrived home from school.

   I was dragging by evening, but somehow I managed to provide a cooked dinner without burning the house down, drive us to and from the practice safely and get my daughter in bed on time. Well, almost on time. Weary, I sat down on the couch to read a little before going to bed myself. That was when I saw the Christmas decorations on the entertainment center.

  I told myself, No Way. Those can't be more stray Christmas decorations. That is just not possible. I did a thorough job of collecting all the Christmas decorations this year! The only decorations that should still up are the outside ones. I don't take down the outside lights as that would involve ladders, and I have an agreement with the neighbors that if I am going to do work with ladders that I give them 24 hours to establish ticket and popcorn sales for the event.

   Besides, event seating in the winter is a pain in the butt. I don't want to put my neighbors through the hassle of digging out lawn chairs in January. Not all of them are as classy as me and keep one on the front porch year round.

I am sure these are the last of the missed holiday decorations.

   I knew Friday would come early, so I gave up reading (who can read with holiday decorations staring accusingly at you) and watched a TV program. I should have gone to bed, but I wanted to keep my sleep schedule fairly consistent.

   Apparently my sleep schedule did not get the memo. Nor did my head. About 2:30fm I was up with a pounding head. Sitting up made it worse, so I staggered into the bathroom and took two something from some bottle and tried to lay back down. At this point an annoying MS symptom kicked in and my leg decided that calisthenics were order and proceeded to cramp an uncramp with a regularity to be envied by any seasoned athlete. Not wanting to wake my hubby, I crawled into the bed we have in the little spare room and tried to get comfortable for the next several hours until my alarm clock rang in the new day.
 
   Struggling back to the bedroom, I proceeded to put on sweats and head downstairs to do some half-assed parenting and get my daughter ready for school. I got as far as waking her up, getting lunch packed and preparing a toaster waffle breakfast for her before my handsome mate joined me in the kitchen and took over. He had shaved and showered in record time so he could relieve me before he headed off to work. Thankful, I made my way back to my bed.

   Shedding my sweats, I rolled into bed. This time I was blessed with some sleep. So much for that resolution to start every day fresh and tackle things early. Somewhere close to lunch I awoke from my stupor, still stopped up and with a runny nose, but without the headache. I showered, then discovered that I had one last pair of underwear.

HOW CAN I BE OUT OF UNDERWEAR? I JUST DID THE WASH!

   Nope, I told myself over toaster waffles for lunch, I was not going to let this setback upset me. I was going to stay on task and clean house today. I will just add laundry to the list. No overnight headache that robbed me of my morning was going to stop me.

   That is when I saw it....another AWOL Christmas decoration!

   There is just not enough coffee in my coffee for this.