Season of the Grouse.

   This has been an absolutely beautiful spring! Warm temps, lovely flowers, green trees. Lots of bright sunshine.

Is it going to snow this week?

   I live in the Chicagoland area. It is part of the package.

   It wouldn't be spring without the wild weather that elates us one moment, then plunges us into the darkness of winter the next. As a true midwest native, I have all my wardrobe available, from the heavy sweaters and coats to tank tops and strappy sandals.

Please tell me I don't own this anymore!

   As I start venturing into clothes and shoes from last summer (Ok, maybe a few summers ago), I start noticing a couple of issues with my wardrobe transition.

   It would appear that my clothing selection is getting a little (lot) dated. Moreover, things are starting to get shabby. Frayed collars and torn pants may be chic for Nordstroms, but I don't think much of muddy jeans as a fashion statement. (Looks more like a laundry issue to me.) Not only do I need to freshen up my closet fare, but I also need to take stock of my shoe collection. All five pair.

It's the beginning of Grouse season.

   I have gone through this issue for several seasons now and there seems to be no real relief in sight. As a matter of fact, the shoe dilemma seems to be getting worse. Due to a drop foot problem that has developed into a partially collapsed arch and weakened ankle muscles, I wear a brace. With inserts. And grouse...a lot.

   This attractive monster has now become an everyday-all-the time accessory. Even with it, my gait leaves much to be desired. Some days I feel I should audition for Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, or perhaps Igor in Frankenstein. All I am missing is the hump.

Now a hump might be cool. I will have to consider doing something about that.

   At this time I don't have a hump. What I have is a brace and a set of inserts that fit in a wide variety limited selection of shoes. Most of which actively earn the title orthopedic. For those of you who really want to drop some cash on orthpedic shoes, they can be wildly expensive. Let me think, groceries this month...or shoes I don't want to buy?

Listen to the Grouse.

   What happened to that really cool neurostimulator I wore? The one that allowed me to expand my shoe selection and lessen my grousing? The expensive Walk Aid I enjoyed for a few years, with it's equally expensive electrode pads, became ineffective. Insurance balked at covering their end of the deal (despite the policy clearly indicating that it was covered) and the company that sold and handled the equipment couldn't figure out how to bill correctly. Added to these woes, the pads began to leave rashes (electrical burns) and my arch took a dive that the inserts alone could not handle.

   So back to the brace. And the shoes that they fit in. And lets not forget grousing.

   To be frank (I suppose I could be Joe or Henry) I don't really want to spend my money on a pair of orthopedic shoes. There is really nothing wrong with my trusty old hiking shoes. Except maybe they are starting to wear funny after 25 years...

   I now provide a lot of entertainment for the neighbors when I cross the yard to retrieve the mail. Everyone comes out to look at the Grouse as it tumbles into the ditch. Recently I have put on performances at local gas stations as well. Perhaps I will sell tickets and use the proceeds for a new pair of hiking shoes. I like hiking shoes. They provide a lot of support and handle uneven terrain quite well. You would be surprised how much uneven terrain is out there. With a dandy pair of new hikers, I might cancel my membership to the local tumbling team. Then maybe I will stop grousing.

Except when I have to dress up.

Hiking shoes don't pair well with dresses.