I got it all together and other myths!

   Yesterday I had someone tell me I sure had it all together.

   I turned around. They were talking about me, right? Oh, my, if they only knew.....

   I am the same someone who ordered the wrong tires for the car. I wanted all weather tires with good winter ratings, and that is what I thought I picked. I read the description carefully. The place never called me for an appointment, so I called them. Thank heavens, cause that is when I learned that the tires I ordered were WINTER ONLY tires. Seriously? Who the heck orders tires for one season? I didn't even know such a monster existed! Thankfully they had not processed my order and received the tires and I was able to cancel the order and get the whole thing straightened out.

   Last week was the week I nearly killed my nephew and left his lifeless body under the purse selection in the store. We were having some difficulty with sizes and trying on pants. This after making the poor decision to have dinner at McD's during dinner hour on a Friday. Only took 15 minutes of my muttering to get around the building and get a parking space.  So much for planning and patience.

   I did figure out what to make for lunch when my friends came over last Saturday. I decided early Saturday morning we were going to have Black Forest Sausage. I wanted to have something nice as we had not seen each other in person for some time. Thank heavens for a fabulous cookbook and a crock pot as I had also made a commitment to help set up the saint fair at church that morning. Nothing like last minute.

   Monday I brought my daughter home from school not feeling too well. NOTHING got done that day. Heck, I could not even remember if I was supposed to do stuff....

   Tuesday I remembered that I forgot to send my daughter to school with a note that I was picking her up from band practice. I remembered the note when I pulled in the school drive - this after a mad dash to the school at the last minute because I forgot that I was supposed to pick her up. Thankfully the teacher has more savvy than I do. She walked the kids out and I was able to retrieve my daughter so that we could make her violin lesson on time. From school we drove to violin lesson, and when we arrived, I realized that I forgot to put the music books in the car. I told my daughter that morning not to worry, as I would grab them when I came to pick her up. So I dropped her off at lesson and drove home to get them. We had arrived early for lesson, so I was not too late when I arrived back with the books. My daughter and her teacher started lesson without me and did not wind up needing the books after all, so it really worked out okay. Then we drove home to have dinner with my nephews and I had to make biscuits before we could eat because dinner was supposed to be chicken and dumplings - except that I forgot to add the dumplings. 

   Wednesday I took the car in to get the new tires put on  (I firmly believe this is the only reason it did not snow in our area). I dropped off some books off at the library and picked up some groceries. The coat with the broken zipper is still in the back seat as I did not remember to stop at the tailor to see if I could get a new one put on. Wednesday evening I taught religious education class and we attended a Thanksgiving Mass. Unfortunately many of my students had less than stellar behavior. When we returned to class I re-enacted the scene of Jesus in the temple throwing out the money changers. Okay, I did not tables to overturn, but when the dismissal bell rang, the students remained riveted to their seats until we had finished our "discussion." I am guessing that this another patience fail on my part. 

   Today my schedule is pretty clear and I managed to arrive at bible study on time. I was dressed and showered and everything. Not that I remembered to bring the money to pay for the workbook. Now back at home I am doing some of the stuff that I forgot to do on Monday (remember when I brought my daughter home not feeling well?) and wouldn't you know it - that darned coat with the broken zipper is still in the back seat. 

   Tomorrow is Friday, right? That is when I have on my schedule that my daughter has a band lesson at school, oh wait, the schedule changed, that is today. I remember seeing her take her instrument out the door when we went to catch the bus.... so who has their act together?

   And did I invite my folks for dinner tonight? I think that means I am supposed to figure out what I am making for dinner. Hmmmmm. I believe I have a dinner meeting tonight too.

 

 

Am I fat, should I love my bump and other things that make me go - HUH?

   I confess to being a news scanner. I don't regularly watch the news, read the paper or listen to the radio. But I do check my Twitter account, Surf my news feeds and spy on my friends on Facebook. For me this is not a bad thing. It does not mean that I am socially inept or uninformed about current events. If anything, it helps keep me level headed and out of jail. These are two pluses that I am sure my family and friends greatly appreciate.

   But I have to admit, some of what I see in my scans makes me go Huh? Like the article titled - Do you know Obesity when You see it? Most Doctor's Don't. Okay, got my interest, so I read the article. Seems that most folks (including Doctors and Nurses) are getting heavier. Doctors and nurses are not identifying their patients as being overweight, mostly because they don't identify themselves as being overweight and don't see their patients as any different than themselves. (This is a summary) Okay, I get that. The article pointed out many good things, but noted that doctors do not tell their patients that they are overweight and that their problems could be caused by being overweight. Now they lost me. Just about everyone I know has had the doctor point out their weight, whether it was part of the problem or not. Perhaps we are a minority.

   So I moved on and spied an article about How to Dress Your Bump. And another one about Bonding with your Bump. Say what? I know, the article was about bonding with an unborn baby, but I just can't figure out why we would identify a baby as a "Bump." A bump is something you get when you have chicken pox or acne. I don't recall ever referring to my over-sized middle section when I was pregnant as a bump. More like a double wide trailer that had gotten loose from its park, but never a bump. And why would I be concerned with dressing a bump. How about dressing me? All of me? Baby wasn't born yet and certainly had no need for clothes yet... Okay, so maybe I am a little out of the loop.

   Perhaps I should read some of the other "trending news." Hmmm, lets see, how about plane crash? Not very big article. Actor accused of sexual assault. Interesting, but no real facts or findings. Why you should Never wash your jeans - OK YUCK! Gonna pass on that one. NFL player arrested for trying to pay for goods with Bubble Gum. Seriously? How about this one -  Using Your Hands to Soothe Your Brain - now that sounds interesting. But skip the first paragraph where they talk about folding and ironing clothes as having calming powers. Just thinking about those activities brings on the stress. And if they are so calming, why are there households all over America full of clean laundry sitting in laundry baskets, just waiting to be folded and ironed - instead of worn wrinkled and tossed back into the hamper?

   Among the articles I find one titled Child Homelessness on the Rise in the US. An attention grabbing headline with a detailed, informed story about the many issues that contribute to the problem and the perception of homelessness. It also supports the headline with facts and figures about the number of children that are homeless compared to the number a year ago. Okay, I have found an article that further investigation fails to debunk. It is not aiming for scare tactics, sensationalism or selling something. I feel touched and like looking for a solution. How on earth did it get in the news feed?

   One of the things about news surfing that I like is that I can look deeper in the articles presented on news feeds and social media. I looked into a few recent articles circulating, Like the one about the Florida man arrested for Feeding the Homeless. Some of the facts to the story were omitted. Perhaps an oversight? And some exaggerated. He was issued citations for not complying with outdoor feeding practices put in place, not for feeding the homeless, as the news story suggests. While some can argue that those are charges and constitute being arrested, so are tickets issues for moving violations, but most of us don't tell people we were arrested for speeding.  Should we be worried about restricting the feeding of the homeless? You bet ya. But both sides of the issue are not really addressed, like food safety issues, availability of hand washing and restroom facilities and use of public facilities. A lot of people get fired up about the issue and rant. So what are the rules in your community? I don't see groups in my area feeding the homeless in the public parks where we take our children to play. Is it because the neighbors don't like to "see the problem" or are there other considerations? Hmmm, now that is food for thought.

   I do feel sorry for the whales being slaughtered near Denmark, but I would have been just as outraged if the story had identified the animals correctly as whales (not dolphins) and still feel something should be done about ending the practice - even if the pilot whales in question are not considered endangered. The story would have been just as good with more solid facts and figures and less sensationalism. Maybe even better if the author could have offered a feel for local culture, some interviews with people from the area as well as potential solutions. The story is true, but lacks a quality of reporting that cuts to the underlying issues.

   I have an opinion about common core math. I could care less about celebrities and professional sports players, but recognize that they are role models and merit some pubic attention. I admit that I laughed at the funny video of the baby laughing her head off while sitting on the couch with a box of tissues, even though this wasn't "news." I am alarmed at the violence and crime that seems prevalent in Mexico. I worry about ISIS. However, I have to say, that I worry about Ebola about as much as I did during the 2001 and 2012 outbreaks in Uganda and the Republic of the Congo, perhaps because I am aware that we had doctors and nurses coming and going from those countries at that time, no different than we do now. Current headlines that hurl accusations and spread panic do nothing to create valid public policy. I know that our state is in financial trouble and recognize that the programs they are looking to cut are less than a percent of the spending and will do little to alleviate the financial crisis.  My head is not in the sand, though it could be argued that it belongs there.

   If you ask me why I don't watch the news, I will tell you that I don't think exposure to violence via video is educating me on the world problems. Instead I fear that it may inure me to harsh conditions that exist in our world today. And I certainly don't want to become inundated to such deprivation and violence until I accept it as being commonplace. The acceptance is what I fear the most. And I have decided that I prefer to see my news not through the lens of the media, but through a filter that allows me to navigate and explore the truths behind the articles.

   If you ask me why I like Facebook, I will tell you it is because my family and friends find it creepy when I am standing outside their living room windows looking in.

 
 

When the sales calls come a-ringing

   It seems my phone number has become popular again with loads of sales people offering to do everything for me, from tiling my bathroom and maintaining my yard to fixing my credit card debt and getting me a better deal on my cable bill...even though I don't currently have cable or a bill. With all the enticing offers, what is a poor gal to do?

   I know, I know, quit my grousing and put my phone list on the National Do Not Call Registry. The National Do Not Call Registry gives you a choice about whether to receive telemarketing calls at home. Most telemarketers should not call your number once it has been on the registry for 31 days. If they do, you can file a complaint at this Website. You can register your home or mobile phone for free. Heck, you can register up to three numbers at a time! 72 hours later, you should receive notification that your number was added to the registry. Just that easy.

    Sure thing, I can do that, AGAIN. As I have several times before. And that will protect me from telemarketer calls. Well, a lot of them, anyway. Unless they are from non-for-profit organizations. Or a company I have done business with (you know, like bought something from). Or a company that is owned by a company that I have done business with. Or a political organization. The last is the worst - they hijack your phone with automated calls that do not hang up after you do. I dare you, try to make a call after you hang up on one of these calls - my experience is that the message will still be playing! Boy, good thing I have another phone in case of emergency.

    But you may note in the above paragraph I said AGAIN. Yes, I have registered my phone number before. But evidently I did business with a company that owns a whole bunch of other companies, and I have to tell each of these companies to stop calling me before I can register a complaint. Quite frankly, I don't have the patience to wait through the entire automated message for most of them to tell them to stop calling. And for rest - I don't have a great deal of time to fill out complaint forms.

   So why do I answer the phone? At home I am too cheap for caller ID. On my cell phone, many places, like the school where my kid goes, the doctor's office, come up as "unknown". And really don't want to miss a call from the school to tell me that my kid has cracked her head on the playground. Or the doctor's office to verify an appointment change. Yes, I know, with most telemarketing calls there is a pause between the time you pick up the call and the time that the caller picks up the line on their end. But the same is true for a lot of my friends calling me on their cell phones. I used to just hang up when I heard the pause, but that really made some of my friends mad, so I have started using a new strategy.  One that keeps my friends and family happy and that has proven to be fun and sometimes effective. What do I do? Well it depends on on how I feel at the moment.

1st scenario
   Caller: Hello, is Tina there?
   Me: I am sorry, who is this?
   Caller: I am (insert name) with (insert company) and we would like to offer you....
   Me: Do you always address complete strangers by their first name? I find this rude and offensive. I also think that you should consider identifying yourself first. It is also rude to demand information from someone you just called and don't know. Until you can modify your business practices to more formal and acceptable means, do not call this number again.

2nd scenario
   Caller: Hello, may I speak to Tina?
    Me: I am sorry, she passed away. Did you know her?
    Caller:

3rd scenario
   Caller: Hello, may I speak to Tina?
   Me: Who?
   Caller: Tina (mangles last name)
   Me: Who?
   Caller: Is there a head of the household there I can talk to?
   Me: Who?

4th scenario
   Caller: Hello, may I speak to Mrs. (mangled last name)
   Me: She just left with the police, can I take a message?
   Caller: Is there a better time we can call?
    Me: Sure, about 10-15 years.

5th scenario
   Caller: Hello, I am (insert fictional name) with (insert company name). May I speak to (mangled last name)
   Me: HELLO?
   Caller: Hello, I ....
   Me: HELLO? HELLO? ANYONE THERE?
   Caller: Hello, I
   Me: HELLO! HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE THERE? DID YOU JUST BUTT DIAL ME? HEEELLOOOOO.
   Caller:

   Occasionally I will get a creative telemarketer, and then I have to modify my strategy, but that can be fun too. I have asked telemarketers if they want to put siding
just my apartment or the entire complex, what my current credit rating is that they can improve it, the name of their cat/dog/grandmother and even if I can sell them something.

   So what do I recommend? Add your phone number/numbers to the Do Not Call Registry to cut back on the number of marketers that can reach you, and enjoy the rest!

Special service announcement: The FTC does not allow private companies or other such third parties to register consumers for the National Do Not Call Registry. Websites or phone solicitations that claim they can or will register a consumer’s name or phone number on the National Do Not Call Registry — especially those that charge a fee — are almost certainly a scam. Consumers may register directly, or through some state governments, but never through private companies. For consumers, the National Do Not Call Registry is a free service of the federal government.