Building better relationships between schools and parents

   I have been to a lot of presentations and received a lot of informational flyers from school about how we as parents can help our schools educate our children. During these meetings and presentations, there is a lot of discussion about the importance of the relationship between schools and parents. After all, parents are a key component to a child's education. There is much talk about the many things we (parents) can do to help the schools educate.

How Parents can HELP SCHOOLS educate their children:

• Parents can read to their kids.  (Yay me, I like reading).
  
• Parents should provide children with both a place as well as the tools to do their homework. It should be quiet and free of distractions. (She prefers the kitchen counter.)
  
• Parents can review homework with the the kids. (Not correct, just review, right?)
  
• Parents can support children's interests. Sports, music, sewing, photography, bike riding, whatever. (Okay, we were not able to support horseback riding lessons. Get over it.)
  
• Parents can be active at school. You know, go to parent teacher conferences, participate in PTO/PTA organizations, help out with parties and activities, show up at the awards assembly, band concerts and stuff.

  

  I even sat on the correct side of the concert to get good pictures!
• Parents can make sure to mark our schedules with all the events and happenings going on at school. We can sign up for e-alerts, blogs, calendar updates and school closing notifications.

  

  Please tell me we are so done with weather closings?
• Parents should avoid having children take unnecessary days off during the school year. Taking vacations or making doctor appointments during the school day can cause kids to miss valuable class time.
• Parents can familiarize themselves with new teaching methods. IE: common core math. Attend the discussion meetings, maybe try out a few questions on the new PARCC assessment tests. Ummm, okay, that is a tough one for me. I mean really, I want the best education for my daughter that I can give her, but I really really don't have time to go to school to learn the curriculum. And we won't talk about how I did on the sample PARCC assessment questions.
• Then there is all the stuff about making sure the kids eat healthy meals, go to bed on time so they are refreshed the next morning and ready to learn, as well as dress them in suitable attire for current weather conditions. I assume this stuff is just a reminder in case I forget what my role as a parent entails.  

   But I have to be frank with you. All this discussion seems to be a bit one sided, doesn't it?

   I mean what is the school doing for their part? And please don't say "Hey, they are providing an education for my daughter." I pay taxes AND school fees. That should be a given. That would be like me saying "Hey, I fed my kid and gave her a place to sleep." As a parent that should also be a given. We are talking about the extra here.

   So I put together a little list of How Schools can Help Parents with the education their children: 

• Schools can provide consistency in the school year/school day. All school days begin and end at the same time, every school day. None of this late start, early dismissal, minor holidays and school improvement days for us to keep track of. Most of us parents don't get the day off for President's Day, Martin Luther King Day, Casmir Pulaski Day, Columbus Day, teachers institute day or parent/teacher conference day. We are not entirely sure why the kids cannot celebrate the important persons and events in our history while in school. Teachers and administrators complain that there are not enough days to properly teach all the subjects in the curriculum. Consistency in the day to day schedule is good for the kids to keep their balance and focus. Interruptions to this schedule lead to disruption of the teaching environment. Sounds like everyone would win.
  
• Can we build bad weather days into the school calendar? I mean really, chances of having no snow days in the northern part of the United States are like one in a gazillion, right? So how about if school administration puts four or five of those days right in the calendar at the start of the year. If we don't use these days, then end of the school year can be moved up a few days. It sure beats the alternative, moving graduations, adding days on at the end of the year and screwing up vacations that parents are trying to plan for the beginning of summer (to avoid infringing on valuable school time). And while we are on the topic,  inform parents early as possible that you intend to use those bad weather days. Just because school closed doesn't mean work closed. It is nearly impossible to arrange child care after 8pm and scrambling around at 6am the day of a school closing is equally a hassle. Parents understand that weather is often unpredictable, however, our last two school closings were announced after 8pm, hours after all other local districts had made this decision. We were not talking about a surprise snowstorm here!
  
• Schools (and I mean teachers) can stop sending home homework packets home for the holidays. And winter break. And spring break. And summer break for that matter. From a parent perspective, it is busy work hidden in the guise of keeping our kids actively learning. If these are new subjects that need to be learned, why are they not being taught in class by the professionals trained to teach them? Since we are not supposed to plan trips during school time, this is the time we use to kick back, travel and spend time with extended families. Parents resent being given the assignment of keeping track of these packets and having to carve out time each day to complete school work. School administrators have set the dates that determine school time and family time. Respect the the part that is family time, as you are asking us to respect the time that is for learning. Mutual respect of this time schedule will prevent resentment toward school, which could be inadvertently passed down to our kids. We parents can provide plenty of busy work all on our own if we feel it is needed. I personally have a whole closet full of cleaning supplies for the first kid who gets bored.
  
• Schools can make a policy to stop trying to fill the evenings with homework. Kids are supposed to enjoy diverse activities like sports and music and art (see above Parent Notes on helping children pursue their interests). Children are supposed to have time to hang with their family and friends. They are supposed to have down time to recharge their brains. Children are in school the bulk of the day. Do the work then. Again, administrators set the hours, use them wisely. Let parents use afternoons and evenings to teach important family values for a well rounded education. Let us be able to give our kids the down time needed to spark imagination and creativity.
  
• If schools feel they must have a homework policy to ensure additional practice of subjects, only send home a reasonable amount of material that you have already covered in school. Make sure the students also have proper reference material (you know, books) to look up stuff if they get stuck. Most parents feel ill equipped to home-school their children. The internet is not a substitute for teaching either. Tired parents set bad teaching examples if they are frustrated and confused by the materials sent home and are attempting to teach their kids after having worked all day. You don't really want to see a picture of me at the end of a long day!
• Schools, PLEASE drop the perfect attendance award. The kids are supposed to stay home when they are sick. The idea is to not get others sick, like their friends, their teachers, or those that might have compromised immune systems. It is great if someone manages to not get sick all year, but stop making those who do feel bad. Heck, my girl was in tears when I had to take her home sick from school because it would mess up her attendance record. What are we teaching here?

  

  Personally, I don't want to teach anything here!
• Schools need to send home accurate dates and information. Correct it when you make mistakes. List these dates on your school calendar. Use the e-alerts and blogs if you have then available and make your staff use them consistently (Do I detect a theme here?). Update your school web pages with all the events - not just the sports! We value all the activities that our children participate in. In the event that the alerts and blogs and automated calls don't work, the school web page or calendar is usually the first place most parents will look for information. Especially since it seems that we, as parents, usually need this information before or after normal school hours!

   We parents would like to thank you in advance for your assistance in aiding us as parents to do our job - as parents, as well as educational partners. When this job is shared by both parties, our children benefit! The more we work on this as a team, the better the experience is for our children.

   Which is important for all of us in the end...after all, they will be the ones in the future who will determine school budgets as well as which nursing facility will be providing our care!
    

Idle thoughts

   Last night I checked my calender before closing down my phone for the night to see if there was anything pressing for the next day. For the first time in a long time  my agenda for the day was pretty clear. Like hours on the calendar with no events clear. I didn't have to be anywhere. ALL DAY. It

was going to be a Friday, my daughter would be in school most of the day and I would have time all to myself! I was giddy with anticipation. What would I do?

   Oh sure, I still had to get the kid off to school (they frown on absentee students resulting from lazy parents), but I was pretty sure I could justify my way out of any chores that needed doing around the house. Vacuum? No time, I needed to upload a video from my camcorder to my computer. Dust? What, with these cool Pins to look at? Dishes? No way, I have a really important book to read. I pondered going to the gym, but only if I planned to catch up on CSI episodes.

   I was still in this state when I turned off my alarm clock and started our morning routine. As I put fresh food in the feeder, the bird reminded me that the kid wanted left overs heated up and put in her thermos for lunch and would not appreciate the dry cereal that I had dumped in it. Oh yeah. I put the cereal away. We wanted bagels this morning anyway. 

   We made it to the corner before the bus and I waved as it pulled away and roared down the street. Then I sprinted to the house, shed my outer winter layer and plopped down on the couch. I was still in my jammies. Giggle. What to do first. I lay back and looked out the front window trying to decide if I should eat first, or perhaps take a little nap.

   The phone rang. 

    Arrgghh! I am going to invent a death ray that works over phone lines and kill all telemarketers. I mean, it was not even 8:30 in the am! I answered the phone. It was not a sales person. It was the kid. What could kid want? I mean, she just got on the bus like 15 minutes ago. She had her lunch, water bottle, homework stuff, shoes and instrument. Was something wrong?

    "Um, Mom. (insert best friend name here) forgot her instrument. Could you bring it to school for her?"

   Sigh. I stress the importance of kids being responsible for their own things, but I am not an Ogre. At least not on Fridays. And music thing was still pretty new for best friend. It is gonna happen once in awhile. I agreed to pick up said instrument and told them they were lucky it wasn't Thursday. Thursday I wouldn't have been able to help them. Thursdays I am not available. Thursdays I am busy Ogre mom.

   Winter gear on over jammies, I headed out. Without coffee, I might add. Surely I am getting points toward sainthood, right? Thankfully I have an attached garage which keeps the cars out of the direct cold in the winter. Instrument picked up and delivered, I returned to my lair once more. Now I needed coffee and something to eat. I decided that I might read some of the newspaper that had been delivered to my house last weekend. We don't have a subscription, so this was a novelty.

   What caught my attention was an article on cars and how you no longer need to idle them during cold weather. Since new cars all use electronic ignitions (and not carburetors like in the old days) they do not require warming up before you drive them. Carburetors needed warming up before driving in cold weather to ensure proper air to fuel mix. Electronic fuel injection relies on sensors to do this job, which monitor the conditions to get this equation right. Therefore warming up the car is no longer necessary. Therefore remote starters were unnecessary.

   Seriously? Where does this guy live? Hawaii? Has he every actually climbed in a car on a -10 degree day and just started driving? Even at +10 degrees your hands freeze to the steering wheel, and the only reason you wear gloves is to be able to slide your hands out of them and off the wheel should you need to exit the car. Warming up the car may not be necessary for the engine, but is sure is for the people!

   Heck, I had a remote starter put on both of our vehicles. While I don't need it at home, sure has come in handy over the last two polar vortexes when I was out and about. I highly recommend them to all my family and friends. Personally I think they should come standard with all cars. Sure beats the quick run out to the car to start it, then back in to thaw while waiting for interior of the car obtain something above sub-zero temperatures on the inside.

   There was a great deal more in the article about emissions and fuel economy. My thinking is we need to have better efficiency in our vehicles. I made a mental note to buy the most environmentally friendly car I could afford in the future. In the meantime, I will continue to trade off emissions for warm car so that my brain is warm enough to function when driving, making me a safer driver. Safety first.

   Hmmm, next article was about how most teen driver deaths occur in older model cars (11 years or older). Ya think? I question the income sources of teenagers that drive newer cars than me. Enough serious reading, where are the funnies?

   I think I know why I don't get the newspaper. Looks like the floor needs mopping. Must be time to go to the gym and find a CSI program that I haven't seen. Can't waste this day.

Excuses excuses

   It came to my attention that I had neglected my blog. But I have some really good excuses:

1. Needed a bit of chill time to regroup. Okay, kinda lame, but wanted some down time after the holidays so that I could think further ahead than 4 hours. Am doing much better. Now I can almost think a whole day ahead.
   
2. We had to eat. Really, we did. And we were out of groceries. Family cannot live on Christmas cookies alone. I can, family cannot. Then not only did I have to do the grocery shopping, but wouldn't you know it, family expected me to prepare and cook the food!
   
3. The house was a wreck! And there were people coming over. In just four hours! Yikes! If you recall I am a "Neat Freak" and my way of showing my love to my guests is to make them feel comfortable in a really really really tidy space. Really tidy space can be hard to clean with all the Christmas stuff still up. Cleaning wears you out. Sorry, Neat Freak just can't bring herself to post photo of the house when it is a wreck. Not happening. You have to use your imagination.
4. My daughter got a sewing machine for Christmas. We made really neat stuff on her sewing machine. Turns out she is a real wiz. Her second project was the infinity scar! But no respectable parent leaves their kid unattended when using a sewing machine.
   
5. My daughter wanted to help cook. After all, she had a new apron. Great help, but again, no respectable parent leaves a kid cooking at the stove unattended. Enough happens when attended. Can I just say we have a big jar of sweet and sour sauce?
   
6. It got cold outside. Not just cold, but so FREAKING COLD that the wine coolers froze on the enclosed back porch. And the soda froze in the attached garage.(Thankfully it did not explode) I have one wine cooler in a year and this is what I have to deal with! It had to be defrosted to make adult slushies!
   
7. We had a new sewing project to work on. Isn't the reversible bag great? I did help with printing out the pattern and teaching my daughter how to mark out and cut the material. She did the rest. But hey, I had to supervise.
   
8. School Closed. For two days. After only two days of being back to school. Cause they ain't got heat in schools these days ya know. Fortunately for me I had a house full of wonderful kids - so I was able to keep from killing my own offspring during those two days.

   

   When are the kids gonna arrive?
9. My daughter got sick the day the kids went back to school and I had to go pick her up and bring her home. Sigh. I am not thinking I will post a picture of my sick daughter either. Again, you will have to use your imagination.
10. I am working on a new writing project. I came across a picture on the internet and was inspired. Okay, maybe obsessed is more like it. It was like being hit by a snowplow in July. I haven't been able to think about much else besides writing my new story. And I have spent most of my time writing. So much so that I let people in my house when it was messy. I made instant meals. I brought my laptop to bed. I dreamed about my characters. I postponed Christmas un-decorating party until today.  I related readings at Mass to how they would affect my main character. As a writer it is exhilarating, distracting, emotionally draining and all consuming. And absolutely wonderful. 

So yes, I have neglected my blog. Even now, I am borrowing time between the minutes to post. But can't say as I am very sorry about it. I personally think my excuses are pretty good. I do live a fulfilling life with a wonderful family, and sometimes life (and writing) get in the way. I will try not to let it happen again, but if the plot thickens, I hope you will understand.

Until next time between the minutes, stay warm.

Straightening things out

Happy New Year!

   My first photo of the new year symbolizes many things. It speaks of my desire to live simply and to enjoy what life has to offer. It talks about celebrating the accomplishments of the past year and the hope for what I intend to do in the next. It shows a glass that is half full, waiting in expectation to be topped off.

   Of course, the glass is half full because I am not much of a drinker. But that is okay, we are working on symbolism here, remember? 

   The new year is the time when we work on creating new resolutions, putting together new goals, and setting things straight in our lives.  Indeed, the whole point is an attempt to straighten things out in our rather crooked lives.

    In the past few years, I have tried to set goals to straighten out three areas of my life. I try to work on one goal that focus on my health and well being. One or more goals is to work on physical aspects of the world around me. The last of my goals is to work on strengthening bonds. All the goals or resolutions are inevitably intertwined, some dependent on others, some that will affect more than one of the three areas of my life. I also remind myself that realistically, many of the goals I set out to accomplish will take much longer than the prescribed year to complete. When I do my year end assessment, I mark my resolution as successful if I have been faithfully working to the achievement of that goal.

    Two years ago, one of my resolutions was to straighten out my teeth. They had never been horribly crooked, but they had been getting more out of alignment over the previous few years, so much so that it was getting impossible to floss. No little goal, as braces for adults are NOT covered by dental insurance. Sigh.....

   An assessment with my dentist showed that there were other problems as well. Two of my teeth were partially spun around and the rest of my teeth were beginning to cave inwards. My primary concern was not so much that they were not picture perfect, but that if I were unable to floss and take care of them properly that they would decay and fall out and I would be stuck with health problems that can result from teeth and gum issues. I am one of those rare people who have never had a cavity. Aside from having my wisdom teeth removed when I was a teen, I have  had no real dental work done. So for me, this was a pretty big undertaking.

   I decided that I wanted to use the Invisalign Braces. My resolutions for the year did not include giving up my favorite foods. It would take longer, but I would be able to care for my teeth as I was accustom, AND eat foods that I liked to eat. So I began my journey. I was tickled when saw improvement right away! It was motivating. If I could straighten out this area of my life, even just a little bit, what else could I do?

   Perhaps I could grow a garden? You know, carrots, radishes and even corn (my daughter's idea). So we planted a garden. Fortunately God did a lot of the watering and we had some crops. Not very many, but there was some edible produce. And if I could grow a garden, I could continue to teach religious education, without my friend who I had previously split the teaching responsibilities with. Happily, I had better results than with my garden. I followed up with a resolution to cook more creative dishes.

   It helped that I had someone who was always ready to try my new creations.

   After a year, I had better looking teeth, though still a long way from completed end product. But I was ready for some bigger jumps. In my next set of resolutions,  I vowed to do at least three things well outside my comfort zone. I decided to start a blog. (What? Share the thoughts that wander around in my head with others? Start using social media for something other than stalking my friends and their families?) I would step up my involvement at church. I would plan a vacation (normally my husband's job). And I would try my hand at gardening - again.

   In some ways, I feel that I wowed myself. I did become more involved in church than I ever expected. I love working with the CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) for women. I have a 4th grade religious education class that consists of 27 kids (YIKES!). I still count my garden as a somewhat success - look, if I had weeded, then the radishes would not have gotten nice and round, they would have been long and stringy - like the previous year. And there were tomatoes - don't forget the tomatoes!

   I even planned out a spring break trip! So there were bumps, like flash flooding and emergency vehicles. 

   I kept my commitment to writing my blog. I love writing a blog! I may not have a complete handle on the social media aspect of this yet, but I am getting there. Slowly. But the writing is what I set out to do, and most weeks I was able to do just that! Yay!

   Other resolutions were not so successful. Doesn't minimalizing the "stuff" in our house mean we should have more space - not less in our closets? All that media was supposed to be digital by year end - not stacked on my desk waiting for me to transfer to my computer and then cloud storage. And is it me, or are the laundry fairies shrinking my pants again? Was this a result of creative cooking that I continue to work on?

   As I set my resolutions for the next year, I try to focus on my successes. I finished my regimen with Invisalign Braces this last December and am extremely happy with the results. I have a very visible reminder of a commitment that I kept to straighten out one part of my life. And with help, I was able to do just that. My desire to live simply and enjoy what life has to offer grows with each success and deepens with each failure.

   My glass is still half full, waiting in expectation to be topped off. As I sit here this morning, I have begun to make my new resolutions for this year to help me straighten out my crooked life. I celebrate with my favorite cup of good cheer... this one I am sure to finish!

Happy New Year Everyone!