Building better relationships between schools and parents

   I have been to a lot of presentations and received a lot of informational flyers from school about how we as parents can help our schools educate our children. During these meetings and presentations, there is a lot of discussion about the importance of the relationship between schools and parents. After all, parents are a key component to a child's education. There is much talk about the many things we (parents) can do to help the schools educate.

How Parents can HELP SCHOOLS educate their children:

• Parents can read to their kids.  (Yay me, I like reading).
  
• Parents should provide children with both a place as well as the tools to do their homework. It should be quiet and free of distractions. (She prefers the kitchen counter.)
  
• Parents can review homework with the the kids. (Not correct, just review, right?)
  
• Parents can support children's interests. Sports, music, sewing, photography, bike riding, whatever. (Okay, we were not able to support horseback riding lessons. Get over it.)
  
• Parents can be active at school. You know, go to parent teacher conferences, participate in PTO/PTA organizations, help out with parties and activities, show up at the awards assembly, band concerts and stuff.

  

  I even sat on the correct side of the concert to get good pictures!
• Parents can make sure to mark our schedules with all the events and happenings going on at school. We can sign up for e-alerts, blogs, calendar updates and school closing notifications.

  

  Please tell me we are so done with weather closings?
• Parents should avoid having children take unnecessary days off during the school year. Taking vacations or making doctor appointments during the school day can cause kids to miss valuable class time.
• Parents can familiarize themselves with new teaching methods. IE: common core math. Attend the discussion meetings, maybe try out a few questions on the new PARCC assessment tests. Ummm, okay, that is a tough one for me. I mean really, I want the best education for my daughter that I can give her, but I really really don't have time to go to school to learn the curriculum. And we won't talk about how I did on the sample PARCC assessment questions.
• Then there is all the stuff about making sure the kids eat healthy meals, go to bed on time so they are refreshed the next morning and ready to learn, as well as dress them in suitable attire for current weather conditions. I assume this stuff is just a reminder in case I forget what my role as a parent entails.  

   But I have to be frank with you. All this discussion seems to be a bit one sided, doesn't it?

   I mean what is the school doing for their part? And please don't say "Hey, they are providing an education for my daughter." I pay taxes AND school fees. That should be a given. That would be like me saying "Hey, I fed my kid and gave her a place to sleep." As a parent that should also be a given. We are talking about the extra here.

   So I put together a little list of How Schools can Help Parents with the education their children: 

• Schools can provide consistency in the school year/school day. All school days begin and end at the same time, every school day. None of this late start, early dismissal, minor holidays and school improvement days for us to keep track of. Most of us parents don't get the day off for President's Day, Martin Luther King Day, Casmir Pulaski Day, Columbus Day, teachers institute day or parent/teacher conference day. We are not entirely sure why the kids cannot celebrate the important persons and events in our history while in school. Teachers and administrators complain that there are not enough days to properly teach all the subjects in the curriculum. Consistency in the day to day schedule is good for the kids to keep their balance and focus. Interruptions to this schedule lead to disruption of the teaching environment. Sounds like everyone would win.
  
• Can we build bad weather days into the school calendar? I mean really, chances of having no snow days in the northern part of the United States are like one in a gazillion, right? So how about if school administration puts four or five of those days right in the calendar at the start of the year. If we don't use these days, then end of the school year can be moved up a few days. It sure beats the alternative, moving graduations, adding days on at the end of the year and screwing up vacations that parents are trying to plan for the beginning of summer (to avoid infringing on valuable school time). And while we are on the topic,  inform parents early as possible that you intend to use those bad weather days. Just because school closed doesn't mean work closed. It is nearly impossible to arrange child care after 8pm and scrambling around at 6am the day of a school closing is equally a hassle. Parents understand that weather is often unpredictable, however, our last two school closings were announced after 8pm, hours after all other local districts had made this decision. We were not talking about a surprise snowstorm here!
  
• Schools (and I mean teachers) can stop sending home homework packets home for the holidays. And winter break. And spring break. And summer break for that matter. From a parent perspective, it is busy work hidden in the guise of keeping our kids actively learning. If these are new subjects that need to be learned, why are they not being taught in class by the professionals trained to teach them? Since we are not supposed to plan trips during school time, this is the time we use to kick back, travel and spend time with extended families. Parents resent being given the assignment of keeping track of these packets and having to carve out time each day to complete school work. School administrators have set the dates that determine school time and family time. Respect the the part that is family time, as you are asking us to respect the time that is for learning. Mutual respect of this time schedule will prevent resentment toward school, which could be inadvertently passed down to our kids. We parents can provide plenty of busy work all on our own if we feel it is needed. I personally have a whole closet full of cleaning supplies for the first kid who gets bored.
  
• Schools can make a policy to stop trying to fill the evenings with homework. Kids are supposed to enjoy diverse activities like sports and music and art (see above Parent Notes on helping children pursue their interests). Children are supposed to have time to hang with their family and friends. They are supposed to have down time to recharge their brains. Children are in school the bulk of the day. Do the work then. Again, administrators set the hours, use them wisely. Let parents use afternoons and evenings to teach important family values for a well rounded education. Let us be able to give our kids the down time needed to spark imagination and creativity.
  
• If schools feel they must have a homework policy to ensure additional practice of subjects, only send home a reasonable amount of material that you have already covered in school. Make sure the students also have proper reference material (you know, books) to look up stuff if they get stuck. Most parents feel ill equipped to home-school their children. The internet is not a substitute for teaching either. Tired parents set bad teaching examples if they are frustrated and confused by the materials sent home and are attempting to teach their kids after having worked all day. You don't really want to see a picture of me at the end of a long day!
• Schools, PLEASE drop the perfect attendance award. The kids are supposed to stay home when they are sick. The idea is to not get others sick, like their friends, their teachers, or those that might have compromised immune systems. It is great if someone manages to not get sick all year, but stop making those who do feel bad. Heck, my girl was in tears when I had to take her home sick from school because it would mess up her attendance record. What are we teaching here?

  

  Personally, I don't want to teach anything here!
• Schools need to send home accurate dates and information. Correct it when you make mistakes. List these dates on your school calendar. Use the e-alerts and blogs if you have then available and make your staff use them consistently (Do I detect a theme here?). Update your school web pages with all the events - not just the sports! We value all the activities that our children participate in. In the event that the alerts and blogs and automated calls don't work, the school web page or calendar is usually the first place most parents will look for information. Especially since it seems that we, as parents, usually need this information before or after normal school hours!

   We parents would like to thank you in advance for your assistance in aiding us as parents to do our job - as parents, as well as educational partners. When this job is shared by both parties, our children benefit! The more we work on this as a team, the better the experience is for our children.

   Which is important for all of us in the end...after all, they will be the ones in the future who will determine school budgets as well as which nursing facility will be providing our care!