Summer break for parents

Summer break from school started like a week and a half ago. I think. I am a little scattered.

I already can't remember what normal life was like.

   I used to daydream about my summer break. You know, enjoying the flowers, sleeping in, lunch dates with friends, running through fresh cut grass. Reality has set in.

   Well, we did start this summer by planting flowers...

   When I say we, I mean me, while kid disappeared for an hour to get the watering can, spent forty five minutes in the house going to the bathroom, and about twenty minutes putting the plastic containers in the recycle bin that was three feet away from where I was getting muddy and promising doom to the blooms in my hands.

  It was ninety the next day. Can you say wilt? I am not yet enjoying the flowers. I don't like to get up early to water and take care of plants before the heat comes and kills everything that moves. I would prefer to be sleeping in. That is what summer breaks are for after all.

As for that sleeping in part...

   Not sleeping in either.

I HAVE BEEN UP EARLY EVERY FREAKING DAY SINCE BREAK STARTED.

   Then that one day when I didn't have go be up. You got it. I was up even earlier. Four am early. If I am not careful, folks are going to start thinking I am a morning person. I a not. My biggest issue with getting up early is I feel the need to be doing something. Unfortunately, everyone else is sleeping. Sometimes, if it is a watering day, I go outside and play with the garden hose. Once I even found myself pulling weeds. If I am not careful, I might also be mistaken for a gardener!

   This could be my own fault. I looked at the calendar. There seem to be an awfully lot of commitments on there. They all seem to start early. And I am not sure what week this is.

Heck, I am not sure what day it is.

   Think I was supposed to publish a blog post last week....

OOOPS

   If I missed a date with you, I apologize, I am not sure what month it is either. Okay, better nix those dreamed up lunch dates.

   At least I can enjoy running through a freshly mowed lawn. I say this with pleasure as I am oohing and ahhhing over the new lawn mower we broke down and purchased this year.

   It means that I can enjoy the benefits of fresh cut grass without actually having to mow the lawn. You see, I won't have to mow the lawn myself for like the next eight or nine years or until the power drive breaks and the sucker becomes impossible to start without starter fluid, a screwdriver and thirty minutes of sweating and swearing.

   Then no one has time to mow the lawn but me.

  The lawnmower phenomenon works just like the snowblower situation. A new snowblower appeared in the garage last winter. As a result, it didn't snow all winter. We are probably in for the warmest winters on record for the next fifteen years. You can stop worrying about global warming, it is just the machine in our garage that has changed the weather patterns around the world.

   You can thank me later. But better wait till fall. When I might know what year we are living in. And this summer break thing is over.