So my husband comes home from work the other day with electrical tape wrapped around his finger. Since I'm the person who generally doesn't ask questions to which I don't want the answers, I studiously ignored the tape darkened extremity for sometime before curiosity finally got the better of me and I asked: What's up with the tape on your finger?
The answer - I cut my finger.
Well of course he did. I should have known, after all, electrical tape is the go to solution when you cut appendages. Right up there with using gaffers tape to fix a hole in your pants. Silly me.
Maybe it's a man thing. When I cut my finger I usually use a band-aid.
I was informed that electrical tape was the perfect solution. After all, it did stop the bleeding and he didn't have to interrupt what he was doing to go look for a band-aid. Besides, electrical tape is hypoallergenic.
WHAT???
Okay, that was a new one on me, but then again, there are a lot of things I don't know (don't tell my husband). Naturally, I couldn't take his word, I had to look up if electrical tape really was hypoallergenic. According to Google, there is no evidence that electrical tape is hypoallergenic. Furthermore, Zachary Ljubicich, Master of Ceremonies at Empaths Incorporated (the expert Google directed me to on matters such as these) explains that tape actually can be toxic - if you were to say, wrap yourself as a mummy with it. Not that I've ever considered wrapping myself as a mummy using electrical tape (or any other kind of tape for that matter), but just in case the notion strikes your fancy, it's not a good idea to use tape as mummy wrapping on a live human being. Moreover, he warns that tapes can "prevent your body from swearing in the areas of application."
Yes, that's what it said. Google it yourself if you don't believe me.
I was ecstatic. I've been trying to cut down on my swearing, now it seems the solution was within my grasp. I went out in the garage to grab some tape.
We had all kinds of tapes, but sadly, no electrical tape. So I settled for the cool green stuff instead. Carefully I taped my fingers to see if it would prevent me from swearing when I typed.
WTF?
Holy crap, it worked! Who knew? As you can see above, all I could manage to type were the initials to my favorite swearing phrase. If simple green tape could do that, imagine what electrical tape might do...I began to dream up all kinds of applications for tape. Like putting tape on my cell phone. Auto correct is constantly changing words in my texts to ones I do not intend, and being the lousy proof reader I am, messages often get sent with the wrong connotation. Since my phone already boasts of several cracks,(including the crackpot using the phone) taping might serve more than one purpose.
Encouraged, by what I had learned so far, I continued reading the information provided by Master Google. It read: "this could have a very negative effect on your health if used in a location that is supposed to sweat out toxins."
Well f#@k that. The whole reason I swear it to get toxic thoughts and ideas OUT of my head instead remaining stuck inside my brain which is already filled with bad ideas and not so safe suggestions.
Further research on electrical tape also informed me that some brands of vinyl electrical tape come with a warning: This product contains one or more chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after handling.
Which makes me wonder, why is it only known to the State of California?
Soooo anyway, back to the conversation with my husband... He decided while we were discussing the tape on his finger that he probably should pull it off. He did and it promptly began bleeding. I told him that the tape probably wasn't such a good idea after all since the adhesive appeared to have stuck to his skin and pulled the cut open when he pulled off the tape. I suggested next time he put something over the cut before taping it, like gauze.
He dismissed the notion with a laugh, asking me who was going to carry electrical tape and gauze?
Why do I even try?
😂😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍👍
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