Motherhood Challenge: ACCEPTED

   Late last week, I was tagged on Facebook(tm) for the Motherhood Challenge. It went something like: You have been nominated to post 3 pictures that make you happy to be a Mother...then you were supposed to tag 10 people that you thought were great mothers to also post 3 pictures to take the Challenge.

   At first I was like "Hey, I can do this, I have lots and lots of pictures!"

Not so happy kid

Messy Room

REALLY not happy kid

      Then I got to thinking, maybe these were not the type of photos they had in mind. Hmmm. Perhaps they were looking for something along these lines...




 







   But, after careful review of other people's photos, that didn't seem quite right. So I looked some more. I came up with this...

   Although it looked like I hit the mark, I just wasn't satisfied. They were nice pictures but they didn't say why I was happy to be a mother.

Well okay, the kid in a formal standing in a messy room was getting close.

   When I thought about it, the reasons I was happy to be a mother were diverse and complex. Not necessarily something captured in beautiful professional shots, candid vacation pictures or crooked birthday snaps. The Not So Happy Kid, the REALLY not happy Kid and the Messy Room did a better job. Yep, these were photographs that made me happy to be a mother. Maybe more than the happy smiling kind. Why? Because they were an integral part of my mothering experience. 

   Start with the crying baby photo. A few months after our beautiful little blessing was brought home we hit a phase where she cried between the hours of 4pm and 7pm. EVERY NIGHT. Nothing I did was right. Nothing her father did was right either. But now her Godmother was a different story. All her Godmom had to do was hold her and suddenly all was right with the world. Instant happy baby. I admit, at first, I was a tiny bit jealous, but no way I wanted to stop this magic. Although Godmom Lydia and I were close before baby, this time lead to a deeper bond between us. Every night, Lydia would come over and I would make dinner (or get dinner) and she would cuddle with Kate. I was delighted to be able to share my child and the close contact that I enjoyed on a regular basis. I was blessed to have the chance to bond more closely with one of my best friends. It made me happy to be a mom.

   Not So Happy Kid photo tells a different story that occurred during a different chapter of my motherhood. A story about a toddler who was fed up with her parents after a long day of travel. A day of travel that had resulted in lost luggage and a delay before dinner. One look at her face had us laughing.  Other hotel patrons looked at us askew as we laughed and our toddler said some not so very nice things. I decided to snap a picture to record the moment. Not so happy kid was not pleased that her parents suddenly seemed to be inexplicably happy at this moment and was not inclined to smile for the camera. But behind the camera I was smiling. Not only was it funny that we were vacationing in the happiest place on earth with the unhappiest kid on earth, but that it was just the beginning of our vacation. We knew that once we fed our kid (and us) that all would be just fine in our world and that this moment would pass. It no longer mattered that the luggage was missing, I was happy because I knew where just where to find my kid (even if she was grumpy) and that it didn't matter if every moment of vacation was not smile filled and magical. I was a happy mom.

   Then there was Messy Room. I have been and probably always will be a neat freak. To say I dislike disorder is an understatement. Messy room drove me nuts. And this picture only captures one corner. It neglects the dresser loaded with stuff, the unmade bed and dirty clothes that missed the hamper. But as a neat freak mom, it gave me the opportunity to teach my daughter about organization. About order and balance. I had the chance one Sunday afternoon while she was out celebrating her birthday with her grandparents to surprise her by tidying and rearranging the space to better suit her needs and make it easier for her create order in her own life. When she came home in the evening to her cleaned out digs, she was amazed and grateful. She could access the stuff that had become lost in the shuffle. She had the opportunity to start fresh. She had a place to play with special toys that live in her room. Moreover, she thought she could better manage the new arrangement. It made me ecstatic to be able to share this gift. I was happy to discover that it was ok for me to be a neat freak mom.

   The smiling pictures make me happy too. They recall enjoyable memories, special moments and good times. But they probably don't make me as happy to be a mother as much as the photos that show the challenges I have faced and overcome. Challenges that involved my loving spouse, my supportive friends and my personality quirks. Challenges that made me a mom.

   I pass this Challenge on. Not just to 10 moms, but all moms who read this. It doesn't have to be on Facebook(tm) either. Use whatever media you like. Post a picture. Post a dozen. They don't have to be the cheery smiling kind. Just one of your kid (or kids) that make you reflect on why you are happy to be a mom. Then be proud to say that this picture makes you happy to be a mom.

Happiness as a mom is complex, but it is real.